Blake Revealed He Was “Breathing Into A Paper Bag” When He Released Caelynn’s Texts

ABC/John Fleenor

The Bachelor In Paradise "Tell All" portion of the Season 6 finale had its dramatic moments, but none more so than Blake Horstmann's talk with Chris Harrison. Now that Bachelor Nation has seen just how hurt Caelynn was after he publicly aired their dirty laundry on Instagram, Blake is explaining why he released — and then deleted — Caelynn's textmessages. And though he still stands by the decision, he seemed a bit more willing to see things from Caelynn's perspective.

"Caelynn, you know, she used the word premeditated. And, premeditated is just a fancy way of saying I thought really hard about it, because I did," Blake said in a new interview with Rachel Lindsay and Ali Fedotowsky's Bachelor Happy Hour podcast. "It was such a hard decision for me... That night, when I released those text messages, I was breathing into a paper bag. It was incredibly difficult for me."

The podcast is set to premiere on Wednesday, Sept. 25, but a sneak peek was released by Entertainment Tonight one day early, giving fans a look at what they can expect from Blake's recounting of his Paradise journey. He continued, confirming that he sought advice from many different people before making his decision. "A lot of people, they didn’t even really say, 'No, don’t do it.' They were like 'If you do it, know what the consequences are,'" he shared. "There were a few that were like, 'The things she’s saying, you have to do it. I don’t see any other choice.'"

Moreover, Blake claimed that if he had known how Caelynn was portraying their relationship on the show, he would have confronted her on the beach, as opposed to online. "Had I known that she said I was silencing her and all of these things, I would have addressed it on the beach with her," he said on the podcast. "But I had no idea she was saying those things. And, so when I watched it, I was shook... I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t believe she was saying the things she was saying."

ABC/John Fleenor

He also insisted that he tried to find other ways to clear his name from what was airing on the show, but releasing Caelynn's text messages seemed like the best bet. "And at the end of the day, as hard as it was, I felt like that was the only thing I could do to get my truth out there," he told Rachel and Ali.

Blake also opened up about what it was like to actually release the texts, and what made him change his mind. As fans know, the Paradise star deleted the private text messages from his Instagram Story just a handful of hours after posting them on Aug. 6. He told Rachel and Ali that he "was having a complete breakdown," and figured that's how Caelynn was feeling too. "I am sorry that it hurt her the way it did... I wish it didn't come to that," he concluded.

This echoes his statements from the night of the reunion, where, after being told to apologize by Dean and Derek, he said: "I am so sorry you got attacked and I am so sorry you're feeling the way you are." So, it seems that this is about as close to an apology as Caelynn and Bachelor Nation are going to get.