I've always wondered what it would be like to wake a partner up with oral sex. It seems like a fun way to help them start the day on a great note. What's stopped me from doing this, though, is the question: Can you wake a partner up with sex consensually? If they're asleep, how can you be sure they're consenting?
"As with intoxication, it's really important to talk ahead of time about your preferences and boundaries regarding sleep sex, and those preferences and boundaries might be different with different partners," Good Vibrations staff sexologist Carol Queen, PhD tells Bustle. "Obviously, getting consent while someone is asleep (or intoxicated) lies on the 'highly problematic to impossible' spectrum. Being awakened by sex is hot for some people, under some circumstances; for others, it's essentially rape."
So, waking your partner up with sex may not even be within the realm of what they're comfortable with, and if they're not, you have to respect that. If they are open to the idea (or you'd like them to do it), you have to carefully plan how it's going to happen so that nobody feels violated. Here's how to wake a partner up with sex in a way that respects their boundaries.