Astrology is a strange phenomenon for everyone, including your favorite celebrities. The latest victim is none other than Channing Tatum. Tatum's video about an astrology app, namely The Pattern, was basically written in the stars, as he rants about how any app can recognize such deep truths about you based on your date and time of birth alone.
Tatum posted a video to his Twitter and Instagram accounts, airing his greivances over the mythological madness. He began his video plea, clad in a bright orange tee, by speculating about Pattern's origins. "How do you know what you know about me Pattern?" Tatum asked, requesting his followers to send in their answers. He continued, "I don't even know if anyone should know this stuff. I was just in therapy yesterday — and yeah, I'm in therapy, whatever, everybody should be in therapy — and I just get a notification on my phone this morning - whoops — pops up, and, using the exact words we were using in therapy... Is the phone listening? Are you listening through the phone?"
Raise your hand if you haven't also wondered who is gazing through your technological device. "You know what, Pattern people, you should just call me," Tatum added with a shout out to all 17.5 million of his Instagram followers. "That's what should happen right now. You should just DM me... If you know so much, you know how to DM me. I need answers right now."
Tatum captioned his contemplative post, ""Yo anybody know of this sh*t and can explain it to me! Cause [what the f*ck]." Luckily, Tatum's girlfriend since news of their relationship broke in October 2018, singer Jessie J commented on Tatum's Instagram post, "It's me.... I'm the pattern. I'm sliding into your dm's in 3....2....(sliding)....1." Tatum adorably responded with a heart emoji.
It's honestly comforting that Tatum has support during this delicate team. From July 7 to July 31, the planet Mercury is in retrograde, causing apps like Co-Star to be eerily accurate and impacting all of us, major movie stars included. Recently, Bustle spoke to astrologer Kyle Thomas about what to embrace and avoid during Mercury Retrograde.
So, per the expert on the matter, you should embrace the past, reconnect with old friends, and take a leisurely trip, for instance. So, basically, Tatum should reunite with his Step Up co-stars for a kiki of some sort? As for the things to avoid, the Magic Mike star shouldn't sign contracts, begin a new project, or buy a big ticket item. Also a major no-no for our fave dancer-turned-actor? Stress. (Is there ever really an ideal time for that condition?)
Luckily, Tatum's next move is TBD right now. He's been keeping a relatively low-profile since starring in films including Hail, Caesar! and 21 Jump Street. Admittedly, in spring he did debut a brand-new blonde 'do, which as we know, can contribute a lot to your astrological adventure of a future.
All I can muster during our own Mercury Retrograde malaise is, "Keep on keeping on, Chan."