Couples Who Still Crush On Each Other After 10 Years Have These 7 Things In Common
Making it to your 10 year anniversary is a huge accomplishment. Ten years is a really long time to be someone. But what's even more impressive is still being head-over-heels in love with someone after a decade of being together. If you still want your partner to crush on you after 10 years, experts say there are a few key things you need to do.
"Couples who still feel a crush-like-feeling are those who are proactive and active about their relationships and about their own lives," Amy Hartle, relationship expert with Two Drifters, tells Bustle. "These are the people who refuse to become stagnant, and are always working to improve themselves and improve their relationship."
You can't make it to 10 years without putting in the work. You can't have those crush-like feelings for each other if you don't make an effort to maintain the positivity in your relationship. Boredom and waiting for things to change only contribute to the negative energy in your relationship. If you want to keep crushing on your partner, you need to find ways to keep seeing them in a positive light.
It may not be easy, but it's very possible. Here are some things couples who still crush on each other after 10 years have in common, according to experts.
1. They Communicate
"Keeping the lines of communication open builds real and lasting relationships," Dr. Catherine Jackson, licensed psychologist and neurotherapist, tells Bustle. It's hard to keep crushing on your partner if there's built up resentment and negativity. According to Dr. Jackson, couples who communicate more tend to argue less and are better able to handle any conflicts when they inevitably arrive. "The lack of tension that often builds with poor communication leaves space for couples to experience more joy, which in turns allows them to continue to crush on each other," she says.
2. They Continue To Date Each Other
Couples who set regular date nights and make spending time together a priority are more likely to have longevity in their relationship. According to Dr. Jackson, setting regular date nights gives couples something to look forward to. They're an easy way to stay connected and keep things fresh when life gets busy. It's also gives you a good opportunity to get your flirt on.
3. They Get Away Together
It's easy to get stuck in a rut when you're just going through the motions of your everyday life. So one thing Dr. Jackson suggests to couples is to travel as often as you can. "Getting out of the same ol' environment and routine awakens new energy in couples and allows them to connect or reconnect in a new way without the day to day distractions," she says. You'll have fun experiences to bond over and you may even learn new things about your partner that'll have you falling in love again.
4. They Laugh Together
Having a shared sense of humor can be really beneficial to your relationship. When you can laugh together, you can keep the spark in your relationship alive. As Trina Boice, relationship expert and author of Base Hits and Home Run Relationships: What Women Wish Guys Knew, tells Bustle, "Couples who stop laughing and being silly with each other usually become roommates or business partners."
5. They Agree To Disagree
"You're never going to agree on everything, so the sooner you accept that fact, the sooner you'll be able to diffuse arguments and be OK with differing opinions," Boice says. The fact is, all couples argue. But those who keep crushing on each other after years of being together know how to solve problems as quickly as possible. They also know that being right or "winning" isn't as important as the state of your relationship.
6. They're Kind To Each Other
"By far, simply being kind goes a long way," Boice says. "It's important to be kind to your partner. Home should be your refuge from mean, petty people out there." When you're kind to each other, you're bringing positive energy into your relationship. It's the type of energy you need to be flirty and keep crushing on each other. It's hard to crush on someone when they're cranky, rude, and bring out the worst in you.
7. They See The Bigger Picture
"When a couple focuses on the long-term goal, they understand that any obstacles they face are just temporary," Myles Scott, dating and relationship coach, tells Bustle. Couples who keep crushing on each other long-term know that they can get through anything life throws at them because they're a team.
Making it to a decade is a feat in itself. It really does take work to get there. If you're willing to put in the effort to nurture your relationship, you and your partner might still be crushing on each other after 10 years.