It seems clear in retrospect that we all should've taken our clue from the fact that the commercial opens with him saying, "No, it's not a joke," but if you're wondering — does John Malkovich have a real clothing line? — then the answer is a resounding yes. And not only that, but it's surprisingly chic. The topic came up during Malkovich's 2017 Super Bowl spot for Squarespace, a website that helps normal people like you and me build websites. (Websites building websites — what a world.) The 30-second ad shows Malkovich reclining in some sort of lounge chair, negotiating with someone over the phone about JohnMalkovich.com, which the actor says he wants because he's "trying to start a menswear line, a fashion line." That person owns the domain, and Malkovich wants it, helping Squarespace underline the message of their ad, which is to scoop up your domain name before someone else does.
Who knows if Malkovich did indeed have to barter with one of his non-celebrity name twins in order to get his hands on the site, but if you click over there now, you'll find that it is indeed the home of a fashion line, populated with beautiful photos of fully realized menswear pieces, with lookbooks from Fall/Winter 2016-2017 and Spring/Summer 2017, so he's already two seasons in. The latter collection features just 31 pieces, focusing on knitwear with a signature collar somewhere in between a v-neck and a boatneck, knee-length shorts, bright spots of color, unique patterns, and an overall laid-back-but-still-buttoned-up vibe that feels very Malkovich.
And all because he thought to register his domain name with Squarespace. What an educational commercial — full disclosure, I purchased alexisrhiannon.com immediately after watching it — and I didn't even have to watch the Super Bowl to do so.