How Do You Have Sex At The Olympic Village? Athletes Need To Get Creative
After the opening ceremony on Friday, 2,925 of the greatest athletes in the world, from 92 countries, descended upon PyeongChang, South Korea for the Olympic Games. What this means is that with all those athletes calling the Olympic Village home for the next couple weeks, there's bound to be a lot of hookups between Olympians.
Because of this, PyeongChang is handing out the most free condoms in the history of the Winter Olympics: 110,000 condoms to be exact, which, if we break it down, is 37 condoms per athlete. I guess this year's host city expects there to be some major sexual action in the village and they want everyone to do it safely. But 37 condoms per athlete? That's, well, wow.
But while the athletes will be more than prepared when it comes to having safe sex — and lots of it — this year in South Korea, there's still a question that remains: How does one have sex in the Olympic Village? It's not as though these athletes have rooms of their own. Between roommates and small beds, trying to get it on at the Olympic Village is like trying to get it on in the college dorms — it can be tricky AF.
But 110,000 condoms wouldn't have been handed out if there wasn't some major hanky-panky going on in there. So here's how you have sex at the Olympic Village — you know, just in case you find yourself there at some point, because you made the cut.
1. Accept That There's Going To Be A Lot Of Sex
Even if someone is in a serious relationship or married, they're likely aware that sex, and lots of it, is going to happen at the Olympic Village. According to swimmer Ryan Lochte, roughly 70 to 75 percent of people engage in sexual activity while at the village. Although after Lochte's debacle in Rio during the 2016 Summer Olympics, it's hard to say exactly how much of that might be an exaggeration on his part.
2. Embrace The Fact That There's No Reporters Or Parents
One of the best parts about the Olympic Village is that it's totally isolated. This means no reporters or parents are allowed on the premises, so the athletes can do whatever they want and not have to worry about seeing their bare ass on the news the next day. It's basically a free for all.
3. Get Creative With Locations
If you know your roommate will be competing all afternoon, then you're in luck and get the room to yourself. But if that's not the case, you basically need to wander around until you find a place that's mostly solitary — there's always the option of having sex outside, too.
During the 1988 Olympics in Seoul, outdoor sex was banned. Apparently, unable to find places inside to have sex, the Olympians took to doing it outside at such a rate that it had to be banned. So unless it gets banned in PyeongChang, that's always an option. Although temperatures are in the 30s and low 40s during the day, and in the teens at night. It might even end up being the coldest Winter Olympics on record.
4. Consider Making It A Group Thing
During the 2010 Winter Game in Vancouver, ESPN reported that a "whirlpool orgy" took place among several Olympians from Germany, Canada, and Austria. So, if you can't get any proper privacy, then opting for a group thing, might be a pretty good idea — and a fun one at that.
5. Pretend You're Just Cuddling
My sophomore of college I shared a room with a girl whose boyfriend was always sleeping over — that is until we had a serious chat about basic roommate etiquette. It was during all these nights that she swore they were just cuddling — yeah right. But considering the amount of positions from which one has to choose, I'm thinking specifically the spooning sex position here, if worse comes to worse and you can't get any alone time, then sometimes you have to revert to how you used to get laid in college: while someone is trying to sleep just a few feet away from you.
6. Make Use Of Dating Apps
Although it's really easy to meet people when you're living in such close quarters, dating apps have made getting laid at the Olympic Village even easier. During the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Tinder use skyrocketed in the area. Just two years before, during 2012 Summer Games in London, Grindr actually crashed from the huge influx of users.
7. Just Wait Until The End Of The Olympics
Once people have completed their competitions and go home either empty-handed or with a medal, the Olympic Village will start to empty out. What this means is that people who had roommates in the early days might not have roommates anymore or there might even be a bunch of rooms that are totally unoccupied, giving horny Olympians more options of places to have sex. I mean, you can't let those condoms go to waste.
No matter how they pull it off, there's going to sex at the Olympic Village and, honestly, good for them.