When you're someone who loves being affectionate with your significant other, being in a relationship with someone who isn't can be quite the challenge. Fortunately, the stars have your back. If you want to learn how to
get your partner to be more affectionate in a way that will be most comfortable to them, astrologers say there are certain ways to go about it. All you need to know is their zodiac sign.
"Generally speaking, based on someone’s Sun sign you can get an idea of how their planetary ruler colors their affections,"
astrologer Lisa Barretta, tells Bustle. In case you didn't know, each zodiac sign has a ruling planet. For instance Gemini's is Mercury, the planet of communication. That's why Geminis are known for being great talkers and it's also why Mercury retrogrades are known for messing with your communication.
With that said, it's no surprise that Taurus and Libra rank high up there when it comes to showing affection. "Venus is the ruler of Taurus and also the ruler of Libra," Barretta says. Taurus is all about the sultry "night" side of Venus, meaning they
show affection through pleasure, passion, and physical desire. Libra, on the other hand, is ruled by the "day" side of Venus, meaning they show affection through meaningful romantic gestures.
On the other end of the spectrum, Saturn-ruled Capricorns typically find it diffcult to let go and show emotion. "This sign doesn’t like to lose control and gushy displays of affection easily embarrasses Capricorn," she says. But that doesn't mean they absolutely can't or won't. In fact, all signs can warm up to the idea of showing more affection. So here's how you can
bring out your partner's affectionate side, based on their zodiac sign. 1 Aries (March 21 - April 19): Let Them "Help" You
Aries, which is ruled by Mars, is very affectionate but sometimes for selfish reasons. As Barretta says, Aries love nothing more than to be your "knight in shining armor." They secretly like to believe that they can rescue you from all your troubles. So if you want your Aries to show you more affection, appeal to that side of them. "Let them know how smart and resourceful they are while appealing to them with some 'wide eyed innocence,'" Barretta says. "This is a sure way to snag some favors and lots of affection from your adoring Ram."
If that's not exactly your thing,
astrologer Amy Tripp also suggests to get physical with them in a way you're both comfortable with. Do something that gets their blood pumping. "Allow them to take the lead and you're good to go," she says 2 Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Appeal To Their Senses
Taurus loves anything they can eat, touch, smell or possess. "The bull can smell B.S. a mile away, so be sincere with them," Barretta says. In order to appeal to their softer side, appeal to their sensual nature. You can fix them a home cooked meal, spritz on your favorite scent and gently stroke their arm while you cuddle. As she says, "This is a sure recipe for affection and loyalty."
3 Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Be A Good Listener
As you know, Mercury-ruled Geminis love to communicate. If you want to appeal to their affectionate side,
just be a good listener. "They are very flattered if you ask for an opinion or for some good advice," Barretta says. "If they have your ear then you surely have their very affectionate heart." Since they're all about curiosity and communication, Tripp also suggests taking them to new places and teaching them something new. Also, surprising them with a sexy text or two throughout the day won't hurt. 4 Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Be Comforting
Cancer is known for being very sensitive and sentimental. In order to bring out their affectionate side, Barretta says you should reminisce about how you first met. "Let them know that you saved the ticket stubs from the first movie you saw together," she says. "They respond to soulful emotions." Besides that, Tripp says you can also try cooking their favorite meal or initiating some cuddle time. "Make them feel emotionally safe and nurtured," she says. Fortunately, they're one of those signs that actually respond really well to affection. So you won't have too much trouble here.
5 Leo (July 23 - August 22): Compliment Them
Leos have no problem being center stage. According to Barretta, an easy way to tap beyond their outward protective, authoritative nature is to use flattery. "Tell them how good they look and how brilliant they are," she says. Little, unexpected thoughtful gifts, caring text messages, and compliments can open the path for affection. This is another sign that loves to show affection, so more often than not, all you have to do is reciprocate.
6 Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Be Sincere
"Virgos can be very self-disciplined and regimented so the clue is to get them away from their daily tasks without disrupting too much of their routine," Barretta says. They like to "be of service" and can be very affectionate to those who allow them to fix things. If you're sincere and vocal about your appreciation for them, Virgos will incorporate affection into their daily routine.
7 Libra (September 23 - October 22): Be Charming
Libras, like fellow Venus-ruled sign Taurus, like the finer things in life. Because of that, they usually find it easy to show affection, especially if you turn on the charm. "Libra likes to weigh things to make sure there isn’t any agenda before pouring out their affection," Barretta says. The key here is to make a gentle approach without any extremes of emotion. "If you can create the perfect balance for Libra, they will unleash their affection wholeheartedly," she says.
8 Scorpio (October 23 - November 21): Be Trustworthy
Scorpios are known for being intense. But underneath their seemingly cool demeanor is a raging passionate nature. "Their affectionate side, the mere tip of their inner passion, is only shared with those they truly find trustworthy," Barretta says. "They are natural detectives so, if they sense you are seeking their affections you may be given a slight interrogation so Scorpio can rule out any agendas." It's just how they work. But if you're able to be honest and loyal, you'll definitely open up their softer side. "Be prepared," she says. "Once you open them up, their affections can easily become over the top, super-hot, and passionate."
9 Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): Be Funny
How do you help a typical busy, hard to pin down, and adventurous Sagittarius to show their affectionate side? According to Barretta, it's fairly easy. "Make them laugh," she says. "Humorous antics solicits big hugs, hand holding, and lots of affection from the Sag who likes to do everything in a big way." Other than that, Tripp also suggests teaching them something new or taking them on a weekend adventure.
10 Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): Be Dependable
Capricorn is such a serious sign and you may find yourself wondering just how you can get them to release their inner affectionate nature. It may be more challenging than other signs, but it's still very possible. "Since they really don’t like public displays of any kind, choose a nice private moment where Capricorn doesn’t have to look over their shoulder," Barretta says. "Believe it or not, being practical, dependable, and traditional will rev up Capricorn’s affection meter." It's all about showing them that you're ready for commitment and a mature partner. Tripp also suggests asking them about their work and life goals. Those tend to be areas that they take pride in the most.
11 Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Be Understanding
"Aquarius is an independent sign so even when you do try to inspire some affection from them be prepared because their emotions may still seem a little detached," Barretta says. All you need to do in order to bring out their affectionate side is to be understanding. According to her, someone who can accept their quirkiness without judgement is someone who has the ability to bring out their warm side.
Other than that, you can join them in their unconventional ventures. Geek out on science fiction, astrology or anything unconventional, or just join them for a humanitarian cause. "Whatever you do, give them space and freedom," Tripp says. "Holding on too tightly to an Aquarius will push them away."
12 Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Be Caring
Pisces are sensitive by nature and always seek affection, so accessing their affectionate side isn’t too hard. According to Barretta, they thrive on the "mysterious, transcendental, and dreamy" side of life. So be caring, gentle, and create an ambiance with music, candles and incense. "You will be smothered in affection," she says. Other ways to bring out their softer side include writing them a song or a poem, taking them to the beach, or watching a romantic movie. "Bliss out together," Tripp says.
Although some people are just more affectionate than others, it doesn't necessarily mean you can't help them to show you a little more of it. If you can figure out how to appeal to their softer side, you'll have them smothering you in all kinds of love and affection in no time.