If you've been dating for a while — especially online dating — it's totally normal to start feeling dating burnout at some point. If you've been there, you know how frustrating it can be. “Dating burnout is a lot like job burnout. What was once fun and exhilarating has become exhausting, frustrating, and overwhelming,” Esther Boykin, licensed love and relationship therapist, tells Bustle. “Over the course of normal dating, people will experience moments of frustration or exhaustion but when those feelings become the primary response to even the idea of a date, burnout has definitely set in.”
Once you get to that place, then every date can feel like a total drag — no matter how great the other person is. You might get snippy or lose your interest or feel like dating is like a chore. But if you're feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, you can do yourself a lot of good by taking a step back. For some, it may mean taking a break from dating completely. “This will help you get a firmer sense of self, and a stronger feeling of self-esteem," Boykin says. "Be honest with yourself about what you are looking for in a partner, and only look for this when you go back. Be selective and take your time.” And for others, it may just mean starting to date smarter.
Rather than getting lost in an endless stream of swiping, stressing, and interview-like first dates, try to put a little more thought into what you're doing and what your ultimate goal is. It can make the whole process feel more manageable — and make it more efficient. Here's how to start dating smarter, according to experts.