A lot of the sexual problems people have come down to getting stuck in your head during sex. From erectile dysfunction to anorgasmia, the real problem is sometimes that we're just not in the moment. That's why mindfulness can go such a long way toward improving your sex life.
Even when people exhibit physical signs of sexual arousal, like getting hard or wet, they're less likely to actually feel excitement or pleasure if they're thinking about something else. "Research shows that men with erectile issues tend to be less aware of how aroused they are, as they’re so worried about getting and maintaining an erection," Astroglide's resident sexologist "Dr. Jess" O'Reilly tell Bustle. "People of all genders report that they sometimes can’t reach orgasm (despite physical stimulation and arousal) when they’re stressed out, worried about the kids, or distracted by work. Because part of the brain shuts down momentarily at orgasm, if you’re not willing to 'let go,' you’re less likely to climax."
Thinking about trying to get aroused, orgasm, or do whatever you're trying to do can actually backfire, since it'll just cause more distracting anxiety. Instead, here are some ways Dr. Jess suggests getting out of your head during sex.