How To Survive Mercury Retrograde 2017's Effects On Your Relationship

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
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We're at the beginning of Mercury Retrograde right now, which lasts from Dec. 3 until Dec. 22. During this time, you may feel out of sorts, especially when it comes to your love life since Mercury Retrograde affects communication. On top of that, the holidays can already be a challenging time for relationships — they're actually the most common time of year that couples break up. If you think about it, this makes sense: there's added stress (work, family, etc.), possible money issues (you're likely spending a lot on people's gifts, and you might want to take time off, but can't afford to), and when you throw a significant other into the mix, you may feel even more stressed, not less.

However, according to many astrologists, Mercury Retrograde ISN'T a good time to break up with someone. "A key to survival is to not make concrete decisions during the Mercury Retrograde," Linda Furiate, a consulting Astrologer, Healthy Habits Expert, Reiki I&II, Inspirational Guide, and the founder of Of Universal Mind, tells Bustle. "It is best to expect last-minute changes to our schedules, etc. Be flexible with your time and your attitude. If a couple knows and can anticipate the arrival of the Mercury Retrograde, it may best serve them to initially communicate their desires and needs prior to the Retrograde. But, again, be flexible, as things more than likely will change during the Retrograde."

That said, here's how you can survive common relationship issues that come up during Mercury Retrograde.

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Communication: Don't Make Fast Decisions

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Mercury Retrograde or not, communication issues come up in relationships. It's how they are handled that is key, especially these next couple of weeks. "Mercury Retrograde is not enough to break up a really good relationship or a long-standing one," Wave Rayne, Metaphysical Teacher, Author, Leader of Synchronized Global Meditations of Peace, Star Codes Coach, and the first known astrologer to publish articles, teach online courses, and present slideshow lectures on botht he occurrence and potential of All Planets Direct Motion (APDM), tells Bustle.

But what about a newer relationship? "A new relationship might suffer a few setbacks if the two are not really aware of how easy it is to for things to be misunderstood during the Retrograde phase," Rayne says. "Unless you are both born within Mercury Retrograde, then this time period can be very tricky. It might be a good idea to make a verbal arrangement to your partner that during the Retrograde phase, which lasts for 20 days, in case of a disagreement, you both agree to give each other the benefit of the doubt, to listen, and to nurture each other and not make fast decisions. Perhaps the best advice for couples is to review the activities that brought you closer in the past, things to do that you both really genuinely enjoy together. You can talk about what you really love about each other, and you can write all your ideas down so you have an actual list of beloved activities. Put your list up on the fridge and cherish it deeply, because this list is blessed with positive energy and can keep you together for a long time."

Jaye at GiftedAstrology.com, says wires get crossed and mixed messages tend to occur during Mercury Retrograde, but there are ways to keep communication clear. "It's a challenging time for couples to communicate, but if you triple-check information, reread emails and texts before you hit send, and try to break information down into smaller pieces to make sure everything is clear, you can still express what's in your heart."

Trust: Don't Jump To Conclusions

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Mercury Retrograde is in the sign of Sagittarius now, and "Sagittarius is a truth-seeking and a truth-telling sign," Rayne says. "This motivation for finding out the truth about others will be on everyone's minds. Sagittarius lives for finding out the greater truths in life, so the point you really want to know during this Mercury Retrograde is, if you are keeping any kind of secret or you have lied to your lover, the chances of your indiscretions being revealed and you getting exposed for lying are actually heightened."

So what can couples do? "The advice is obviously to do due diligence before things atrophy if you are really valuing your partner. If either partner is a Sagittarian, this suggestion is mandatory," Rayne says. And it's important not to jump to conclusions, too.

You know when you're dating someone and everything's going great, but then suspicions start to come up? Well, those may be more common now, during this current Mercury Retrograde. "If your relationship has been going well and suddenly a dark cloud of mistrust appears out of nowhere during Retrograde, try not to jump to conclusions," she says. "Be kind to your other half and check in with them before making any accusations. During Mercury Retrograde, people can have a conversation with each other, but not realize they're talking about two totally different things, and messages can get jumbled."

Money: Avoid Big Purchases

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Money often seems to be a point of contention in relationships, whether it's between friends or romantically. When money topics come up during Mercury Retrograde with your partner, it's best to remember this: Don't purchase big items during Mercury Retrograde. This way, you can avoid money-oriented conflicts. "It is best to wait until after this holiday season to purchase any big-ticket items," Furiate says. "The deals may sound too good to be true, yet quite tempting. Big items to avoid purchasing during a Retrograde are cars, electronics, and even shoes! Often, we rarely end up needing or using what we purchased during a Retrograde cycle. This is a test in patience to wait until the new year to decide if you really want what you desire. It may be advisable to save your money this month to determine what your real needs may be."

Rayne agrees, that during a Mercury Retrograde, it's time to be extra mindful of money matters. As you can imagine, her advice is just as relevant whether you're single or coupled up. "Just to be on the safe side, avoid buying a computer or any electronics," Rayne says. "Unless you have to, hold off buying any large purchases, like a home. If you do have to buy a home or sign a lease or a business contract, you could choose to apply a 'Remedial Measure' to correct the energetics of the Retrograde to be positively wired on your behalf. It's like doing an incantation or a magic spell as a way of protection. It can't hurt, that's for sure. Contact a professional for assistance to safeguard your purchase or contract at inception, meaning, for the moment you sign any official, legal, or business document or contract."

The Holidays: Give Yourself Time To De-Stress

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As the study above found, a lot of breakups happen these couple weeks before Christmas. But instead of becoming one of the breakup statistics, there are ways to make it through the stressful holiday season with your significant other before just abruptly ending things. "Holiday time can also trigger unexpected feelings, and deep emotions can surface for lots of people," Jaye says. "So instead of eviscerating your good thing, it will be advantageous to come from a supportive, loving place to straighten things out together. In addition, to keep stress at bay during your holiday travels, make sure to give yourself plenty of extra time, because Mercury Retrograde loves to reroute and complicate journeys."

I don't know about you, but I know traveling with a significant other can be tough, with or without Mercury Retrograde. As long as you are aware that traveling now may be especially challenging — knowledge is power — you should be able to make it through the next couple of weeks.

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Spending Time Together: Be Flexible

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Overall, during Mercury Retrograde now — remember, just until Dec. 22! — spending time with your significant other may have more ups and downs than usual, so it's important to be flexible and patient when it comes to plans and spending time together. "Mercury Retrograde can be frustrating for sensitive people that haven't figured out how to use these astrological settings to their advantage yet," Jaye says. "Delays, electronic malfunctions, and miscommunications are typical for these times. If you two are at odds because pesky Retrograde has thrown a wrench into your plans, help your sweetie out by being a loving oasis in the middle of the madness. Cooler heads prevail (and may be get rewarded with more presents at holiday time!)."

Even though the good news is, Mercury Retrograde will be over soon, you still may need some help getting through the next couple of weeks. "Couples may want to make a promise to each other that 'anything that happens during a Mercury Retrograde cycle is subject to be forgotten and later laughed at and used as a testament to the true strength of their solid foundation together,'" Furiate says. "The key to getting through any Mercury Retrograde cycle is to gain patience, delay longer-term decision-making, and to know when to walk away from the stress of a situation that is not working out in your favor. This is key to surviving your relationships. Since it is common to miss or misinterpret data or information during the Mercury Retrograde, it is best to rethink your thought process if something does not appear to line up. I might suggest asking for help and advice rather than offering your thoughts, especially if unsolicited. Also, it may be comforting to know what the other is thinking or feeling prior to voicing your thoughts. You will want to listen with an open mind, knowing that the information provided may not necessarily gel with your thoughts."

Rayne agrees. "If your relationship is having issues, the Retrograde is an ideal time to work things through and really talk deeply about what is and is not working for each of you. In general, it serves to know that some people are more easily triggered during a Mercury Retrograde, and be gentle with each other and with others. The two of you can also make a date to talk about New Year's resolutions that focus on making new, exciting, and deeply loving memories you can both cherish in the future... Another great idea is to hire a relationship therapist to help you both out. Why not? Your relationship is very valuable, and it's worth the time and expense."

As you can see, Mercury Retrograde can definitely influence and affect your romantic relationship. But since it ends before Christmas, you just have to keep things together until then, using the above advice. Then, when Christmas and the New Year do come around, you'll have even more to celebrate — that you two made it through Mercury Retrograde, and both of your heads will be clearer to reflect on your relationship then.