I used to be shy about bringing toys into the bedroom, but since reviewing them has become part of my job, I’ve had to step out of my comfort zone — and I’m glad I have. Sex toys for couples can inspire you to switch up your routine, provide a jumping-off point for conversations about what you both like, and give you the chance to experience more pleasure. And who doesn’t want that?
"There's this fear that sex toys are making people less into each other, that they're too mechanical etc, but they actually improve sex, make people want to be with each other, and can connect you over long distances," Claire Cavanah, co-founder of Babeland, tells Bustle.
Not all sex toys for couples are created equal, though. They come in a wide variety of designs, from finger attachments to vaginal insert-ables, and different ones work better for different people's bodies. Some are designed for use during penetrative sex, while others are meant to be used with your hands. And, as I'll get to, they also differ in vibration power, comfort, and overall effectiveness, so do your research before you shell out your money.
For the sake of couples everywhere, my partner and I tried six of the most popular couples’ toys on the market. Here's how I'd rank them, from merely uncomfortable to truly game-changing.
#6: Satisfyer Partner Plus
The material is pretty hard, so if your partner thrusts too quickly while it’s in, it can get kind of painful. And maybe this problem is specific to my anatomy, but it hit above my clit rather than on it. I ended up taking it out and using it on myself with my hand to get it in the right spot and avoid any discomfort.
#5: We-Vibe Unite
This one was a little better for me, but same deal: It wasn’t hitting quite the right spot and was moving around a lot and slipping out when my partner moved, so I just ended up taking it out and using it on myself with my hand.
#4: Jimmyjane Hello Touch Powerful Finger Vibrator
This vibrator unobtrusively fits around your partner’s wrist and lets them stimulate you with their fingers. Since the vibrating nodes fit on two fingers, you can use them to touch each other in multiple places. The vibration’s not that powerful, though, so it’s not the most time-efficient.
This was my first couples’ toy, so I credit it with giving me my first orgasm during PIV sex. It fits on you or your partner’s finger, and the wearer can touch you as they normally would, but with extra vibration. It’s very powerful for something so small. The first time I used it, I didn’t even have to take off my underwear.
#2: We-Vibe Sync
This provided a better fit than the other vibrators that are meant to be inserted, probably because it’s so bendy. Another cool thing about it is that your partner can control it remotely via We Vibe’s We Connect app, complete with a video chat feature, though the connection can get really spotty.
Eva was my favorite of the bunch because it hit just the right spot with no hands. I didn’t even have to think about it. The legs fit around your labia so it stays in place, and the head vibrates right on your clit. The vibration is also just strong enough, so it never got uncomfortable, and the orgasms lasted a little longer for me than the more sudden ones the other toys provided.
But honestly? Some of my favorite toys to use with my partner are ones that were designed to be used alone. If our goal is to have a quickie, I know my Satisfyer Pro 2 or A&E Sensual Touch Wand Massager will get the job done efficiently.
So, if you’re trying to decide what toy to use with your partner, a good place to start is to think about what you most enjoy by yourself. Any sex toy can be a couples’ toy.