Tiffany Haddish has told so many legendary stories. Tales of a Groupon swamp tour with Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. She gave us the "Who bit Beyoncé?" mystery. And after the 2018 Oscars, she talked about a having a memorable exchange with Brad Pitt. If Tiffany Haddish and Brad Pitt went on a date, such as the one she hinted at after the Oscar buzz died down, she even has an idea of how that story might unfold. The comedian joked about her potential date with Pitt on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, and hopefully, the real dates goes better than the practice one.
On Friday, April 6, Haddish appeared on The Tonight Show, and instantly charmed everyone. She flirtatiously complimented Roots bandleader Black Thought's beard, playfully told Fallon that he bit Beyoncé, and cleared things up about the whole "Tiffany Haddish might date Brad Pitt" situation. As Haddish explained, it was all Pitt's idea. Sadly, though, she said that she didn't see a future with him or his many children with ex-wife Angelina Jolie.
But Fallon convinced Haddish to show the audience what a date between her and Pitt might be like — complete with Fallon donning a Brad Pitt mask. It turned out to be just as awkward as most first dates are. Haddish even asked about after "Angie," as in, Angelina Jolie, Pitt's ex-wife.
Watch Haddish role-play her dinner with Brad Pitt below.
Though this dream date doesn't exactly go perfectly. Fallon's Pitt and Haddish have some minor confusion about where they want to get dinner, exchange awkward compliments, and then Fallon's Pitt abruptly ends the date — much to Haddish's dismay. "I spent all this money on makeup and hair and this cute dress and you're just going to 'drop me off'? I told you that you smelled good," Haddish hilariously joked.
For all of her wild jokes, Haddish is something of a romantic. The actor is single at the moment, but it hasn't always been that way; as she explains in her memoir The Last Black Unicorn, she'd even been married and divorced twice to the same person.
Haddish does not have any children, but she said that she is open to it. However, she told Fallon that Pitt's six children were a dealbreaker for her, regardless of how a real-life date with him would go. "I can't do it, she told Fallon. "I want to be baby mama #1. That doesn't mean I wouldn't eat dinner with him and maybe play around. I want to be #1."
Because this is Tiffany Haddish, and where Tiffany Haddish goes, excitement follows, the practice date with Brad Pitt was far from the only highlight of her Tonight Show appearance. In that clip alone, the comedian talks about her now-famous Alexander McQueen dress, tells a heartwarming story about inspiring a low-income student, and artfully deflects when asked about who bit Beyoncé. Haddish truly is a unicorn.
If you need to get your Tiffany Haddish fix ASAP, you're in luck. In addition to her big screen roles, she stars in a new TBS series called The Last O.G., which also happens to be Tracy Morgan's return to television as a series regular. Her breakout role in Girls Trip amazed fans and critics alike, and now the hilarious comedy is available on HBO On Demand. The Last Unicorn hit stores in December 2017, and her 2018 standup tour #SheReady is under way. And she'll executive produce HBO's Unsubscribed.
Haddish is a busy person, so if Pitt wants to get that dinner in this year, he better have his people call her people, and fast. After he gets a babysitter, of course.