I have a confession to make: this year is my first time watching The Bachelorette, and boy did I clearly pick a doozy of a season to jump in on. There was some kissing and flirting, sure, but the season premiere also introduced the world to some very strange gentleman that I need to know everything about now. Luckily, The Bachelorette will still be airing on Memorial Day, so on May 29 there’ll be another two hour long episode documenting Rachel Lindsay’s quest to find true love — and Bachelor Nation's quest to figure out what the deal is with at least half of these admittedly handsome weirdos. A French puppet? A penguin suit? A guy whose catchphrase sends him into full-on fits? Who even are any of you?
Anyway, it’s a good thing that Memorial Day isn’t the kind of holiday that people celebrate with fireworks, because I'm definitely going to have enough “Whaboom” in my life after this, thanks. Although, hey — maybe Lucas will get booted off this time around! Or maybe Blake E. will have iced him all the way out of the mansion. Either way, it’s helpful to remember that there are other ways to enjoy your three-day weekend while you wait for the next episode, as inspired by Rachel and her contestants’ recent shenanigans: