London Officials Blame '50 Shades Of Grey' For Rise In Sex Accidents
Focus Features

Don't try this at home, folks. There are couples in need of rescue after reading Fifty Shades of Grey inspired them to try out a variety of sex toys they weren't quite ready for, including penis rings and handcuffs. The rash of incidents is so serious that the London Fire Brigade has issued an official warning.

E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey outsold the Harry Potter series after its release, proving that fanfiction can, in fact, make money. Following a rocky start, trilogy of film adaptations is still in the works, with the second installment, Fifty Shades Darker, in theaters now. The London Fire Brigade says that, "as the second Fifty Shades of Grey film hits cinemas [it is] once again warning about people being stuck or trapped in objects as penis ring removals soar." According to a press release, the fire service has been called to remove nine penis rings from some very unfortunate men since April 2016 — "the same number as the previous two financial years ... combined."

It's worthwhile to note that, although Fifty Shades is arguably the best known example of BDSM erotica, James' books do not depict a true BDSM partnership, or even a healthy relationship. That isn't sexy, and for kink-curious folks who want to dip their toes into bondage play, Fifty Shades is a dangerous source of inspiration.

So what does the London Fire Brigade recommend for folks who want to get kinky this Valentine's Day? Director of Operations Dave Brown says, "Our advice is simple: If the ring doesn't fit, don't force it on."