Because it isn't enough that we have an orgasm gap when it comes to how often men versus women orgasm during sex, we have to face yet another gap in the bedroom: the oral sex gap.
According to a 2016 study published in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, women are twice as likely to go down on their partners than men. While that’s the case, the same study also found that women are less likely to enjoy going down on their partner, but also half as likely to actually enjoy receiving oral sex.
While the study found that men who do go down on women enjoy it far more than women who go down on men, 41 percent compared to 28 percent, women are still giving more blow jobs — and trying to pinpoint exactly why this is the case differs from study to study.
Cunni, an oral sex toy launching on October 2, 2018 on Kickstarter, wants to close that oral sex gap, as well as take cunnilingus off the back burner and put it front and center. The company conducted a survey of 1000, heterosexual-identifying people between 21-45, about their thoughts and experiences with oral sex. Here’s what they found.
1
Most Women Aren't Receiving Oral Sex
According to the survey, which proves previous findings on the matter, only 40 percent of women reported engaging in cunnilingus with their partner. While the survey didn't get into how many of these women were going down on their male partners, based on past research, there's likely an inequality there.
2
But More Than Half Of Women Orgasm Through Oral Sex
Of those who are having cunnilingus with their partners, 53 percent reported being able to climax because of it, which makes sense.
As psychologist Laurie Mintz, PhD, found in her own research and reported to Bustle, the percentage of women who can orgasm through penetration alone might be as little as 15 percent. If we go by this, that means 85 percent of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm and oral sex is a great way to do that.
3
Most Women Enjoy Receiving Oral Sex
Although the survey found that 80 percent of women enjoy when their partner gives them oral, if you're someone who doesn't like it, for whatever reason, please know that you're definitely not alone.
4
Less Than 1/3 Of Women Feel Comfortable Communicating Their Desires To Their Partner
It goes without saying that the best sex — oral, anal, intercourse, all of it — requires communication. However, the survey found that only 30 percent of women felt comfortable telling their partner what they want and need in order to fully enjoy themselves sexually.
While being able to vocalize what you need isn't always easy, if you start by politely giving instructions, your partner, who wants to give you pleasure, will listen and actually be grateful for the advice. After enough practice on both your parts, you'll find it easier to communicate your desires.
5
Most Men Don't Know What Their Partner Wants During Oral
When the survey shifted its attention to the male respondents, 59 percent reported that they didn't know what their partner likes when it comes to receiving oral. So, again, this is where communication comes in handy. It's not easy at first to tell your partner what you need and want, but practice really does make perfect.
"Remember that most people want to please their partner and are relieved when they get some guidance and feedback," sex and intimacy coach, Xanet Pailet, tells Bustle. "Don’t accept bad touch or bad sex. Communicate what you want in a loving way and open up the conversation sooner rather than later."
6
Less Than Half Of Women Know How To Get Themselves Off
Only 40 percent of women in the survey reported they fully know what gives them pleasure when they're masturbating. That speaks volumes to not just the inadequate sex ed in the United States, but how female sexuality, as a whole, is treated compared to male sexuality.
The survey also found that of that 40 percent, only 30 percent could communicate to their partner what did get them off.
Like with all sex acts, there are some who are fans of cunnilingus and some who are not. But no matter which side you're on, being honest with your partner and communicating what works best for you is the key to real pleasure.
