I was not mentally prepared for this today. Every time you think you've reached every unthinkable, unnecessary food or drink creation, the universe is determined to prove you wrong. So, for that reason, let me introduce you to the newest godless mashup — Pabst Blue Ribbon Hard Coffee. That's right, like a hard lemonade but... coffee. Like an espresso martini but... beer? What I'm saying is, there are a lot of ways to get tipsy and/or caffeinated — did we really need another one?
But yes, the gods of beverages said that we did. This Pabst Blue Ribbon Hard Coffee is exactly what you would expect. Coffee beans, milk, and vanilla flavoring, the drink comes in at 5% ABV.
“Pabst Blue Ribbon has always been a brand that pushes boundaries and celebrates those who experiment and try new things,” John Newhouse, PBR brand manager, told the Beer Street Journal. “Hard Coffee is an opportunity for us to pioneer a delicious and fun new drink, and give America something unique. We hope everyone loves it as much as we do.” I am very not convinced — but I can also imagine so many of my friends cheering when they find out that hard coffee exists, so I'm sure this new product will find its home in happy mouths.
According to the company's Twitter account, this hard brew is currently available in Pennsylvania, Maine, New Jersey, Florida, and Georgia — but hopefully we'll see this spread in the future. If you want to know exactly where you can find it, you can look at their product locator on their website.
If you like your drinks combined, then there are plenty of options to make that happen. Trader Joe’s Lemon Peal Hard Lemonade has arrived to make your summer very refreshing and, also, a little tipsy — plus it has one of the cutest cans around, in case you want to put it on Insta. If you want something that's part cocktail, but also kind of like sparkling water, then Cape Line’s Sparkling Cocktails have options like Strawberry Mojito and Hard Strawberry Lemonade, for a light option this summer. Or if you like the idea of a beer-hybrid, then there's also the Bud Light Lemon Tea option, which was basically designed for summer. Even if I personally find it difficult to get behind a beer combo, I know I'm going to be seeing it at every BBQ this summer.
But if you really want to go for the ultimate summer hybrid, I have to say that I think you can go one step beyond combo-drinks — and straight into the world of boozy popsicles. From gin and tonics to full-on cocktails, you can get so many different boozy popsicles to make your summer magical. They're perfect for people like me who love a refreshing option but are also very, very lazy. The world is a beautiful place for my people.
Will hard coffee be your new summer go-to? It's certainly easier to carry around than an Irish coffee or an espresso martini — so Pabst Blue Ribbon Hard Coffee may have just opened up a whole new world. But coffee and alcohol is an aggressive combo — so please booze and caffeine responsibly. It's a marathon, not a sprint.