Some Poor Soul Read Harry Potter Fanfiction Instead Of The Real Book

Warner Bros.

I was late to the Harry Potter game, but with nearly a decade of wizarding knowledge under my belt, I've almost forgotten what it was like to not know a Galleon from a Grim. Thankfully, someone's come along to remind me. Some poor soul read Harry Potter fanfiction instead of the real thing, and their texts about it are hilarious.

Before you ask: No, they didn't get their hands on My Immortal and think Harry Potter had gone "goffik." I know, I know, I wish they had too. Just imagine how much better the conversation below would have been if they'd had to straighten out where Professor Snape did and did not have a Dark Mark.

Instead of My Immortal, this poor fellow finished reading what he thought was Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, as purchased in a boxed set. When something seemed off about it, he texted his friend, Chinese-American journalist Shelley Zhang, to sort through his confusion. More importantly, Zhang was responsible for figuring out whether the first three Harry Potter books her friend read were the real adventures of the Golden Trio or some sex-laden romp through Hogsmeade.

Their text messages, screencapped and tweeted for all to see, are the stuff of legend. Check them out, and be prepared to share them with everyone you know.