Life

These Christmas Cheeses Will Make Your Festive Snacking So Gouda, I Camembert It

by Aoife Hanna
Cameron Whitman / Stocksy

Do you consider yourself a pudding person? Or like me, does the thought of sweet treats kind of turn you off? When the dessert menu comes, do you make the right ruddy choice and go for the cheese board? If so, you are probably dying to know my low down on the best Christmas cheeses of 2018.

What makes a cheese Christmas-y? Of course being stuffed with various yule tide flavours is an indicator of Christmas joy, as is being a certain shape that seems festive, and of course the essential Christmas packaging which makes any old bit of brie feel as joyously festive as one of Santa's little elves.

But some times it is in fact merely being exquisitely gluttonous that tips it over the festive edge, like a drunken family member falling off their chair at the Christmas table.

How much cheese is too much cheese? The answer is, that is entirely up to you, but judging by my own personal experience, usually by the 12th day of Christmas, the mere thought of dairy products will cause all of the colour to drain from my face and leaving me needing a lie down.

But until then, here is a selection of cheeses to get you through.

Waitrose Christmas White Stilton with Berries & Orange
Waitrose
Chrismas is a time for all the senses, but one where salty and sweet work especially well, like that one couple you know who are perfect for each other and are never ever going to split up. This white stilton has dried cranberries, blueberries, and candied orange peel. Oof pass us a sherry auntie Sue, will ya?
£2.50
Celebration Five Tier Cheese Cake
Waitrose
You can keep your poxy Christmas cake, I'll have this four tier cheese cake thank you. A mixture of Welsh Black Bomber, Perl Las, Petit Grey, Smoked Orsom, and Capricorn Goats Cheese. Ugh stuff like this makes me genuinely wish it was Christmas every day.
£20
CO-OP Baking Camembert
CO-OP
You'll be hard pushed to beat the simplicity and deliciousness of a baked camembert. This one is all ready to go in the oven so yum yum, get to it. Special bonus points if you stick a few cloves of garlic, rosemary, and a slosh of white wine in.
£3
Sainsbury's Deliciously Free From Wensleydale-Style With Cranberry
Sainsbury's
Oi vegans deserve the joy of Christmas just as much as you do, and this one will have you shouting "What?! No cow?!". Deliciously soft and flavourful, and better for the planet, too.
£2.25
Brie Bites
Tesco
The cheese version of chicken nuggets, fill your body with these LIT AF little nibbles. Hot, crispy, melty, gooey. OK, I'll take five.
£2
Iceland Cheddar And Chilli Truckle
Iceland
What's a truckle I hear you ask? A tiny truck? No, it is a small barrel-shaped cheese. And this one is stuffed full of chilli. One for cheddar lovers who like a little bit of heat.
£1
Cheese Bites Board
Marks & Spencer
Yes guys, a load of bite-size cheeses, for you to stick on the side and just grab every time you walk past. Allegedly serves 10-15. More like 1-5 IMO.
£25
Waitrose Brie & Cranberry Filo Tarts
Waitrose
Oh you old TART! The sweet sweet combination of brie and cranberry completely debunked my theories that cheese mixed with fruit is the worst. Pineapple on pizza y'all. Bleurgh. Anyhow, these are totes delicious and all for you to eat, darling.
£6
Potted Blue Shropshire With Whisky
Fortnum & Mason
Yes, just shy of £25 is a bit much to spend on cheese but y'all guess what, we are celebrating the birth of Christ here. Worry about it in January.
£23.50
Cornish Cruncher & Cider Cheesebake
Marks & Spencer
In perhaps the most West Country of all moves, Marks & Sparks has gone ahead and mixed Cornish Cruncher with cider. Bake this beauty and get to dunking. Lord knows — dunkable cheese is among the most delicious of all cheeses.
£12

Who says Christmas is cheesy? I do. Hiccough.