The 13 Emotional Stages Of Waiting For 'Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2'
The wait between a Marvel movie and its sequel will never feel quite as long as it really is, since installments from the studio's other franchises will always break up the hiatus. Even though Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange, and other comic book adaptations have come and gone in the meantime, I find myself very aware that it's been almost three years since the first Guardians Of The Galaxy. The terrific news is that the countdown clock is nearly up. Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 is due out May 5 and will reunite all your favorites, including that adorable sapling, Baby Groot. While you hold for continued space shenanigans, see if you identify with the 13 emotional stages of waiting for Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2.
There's plenty to be excited about in this film. The original Guardians turned Chris Pratt into a movie star. It held the title of edgiest Marvel movie until Deadpool burst onto the scene, dropping f-bombs. It took one of the studio's most cartoon-ish comic book series and turned in into a colorful rollercoaster of a film with both frat-boy humor and heart. It broke the Marvel mold in a lot of ways and set the stage for more adventures.
And those adventures will continue this spring. Keep on reading to determine what Guardians Of The Galaxy fan-stage you're currently in.
1. You Remember How Fun & Revolutionary The First One Was
Andy Dwyer as a space rogue? Bradley Cooper as a gun-toting raccoon? Vin Diesel as an ent-like tree being who speaks a terribly limiting language? I don't know how Guardians works so well, but damn, is it a good time.
2. ...And Then Rewatch It, Because It's Great
Trust me, you haven't seen it enough. Not until you can recreate Peter Quill's dance routines move-by-move without looking at the screen.
3. You Dust Off Your Gamora Cosplay
And buy some new green body make-up, because it's probably turned.
4. You "Put Awesome Mix Vol. 1" On Repeat & Try To Guess What Classic Pop-Rock Is Going To Make It To Vol. 2
I don't know that any other superhero movie has used a soundtrack so effectively. I'll never be able to listen to "Hooked On A Feeling" or "Come And Get Your Love" without mentally blasting off into space.
5. You Watch Old Episodes Of Parks And Recreation To Remember A Time Before Chris Pratt Was Star-Lord
Whether he's playing a goofy man-child with the tendency to eat chili off of a frisbee or an intergalactic smuggler, Chris Pratt is forever charming.
6. You Prepare To Feel Maternal Towards A Baby Tree Person
7. And Fret That Peter Quill Will Be Rejected By His Father
Mystery surrounds the identity of Star-Lord's dad in the first movie. Kurt Russell is on board to play him in the sequel and if he hurts my child, we're going to have issues.
8. You Resolve To Live Your Life More Like Rocket Raccoon
So sometimes he's unnecessarily aggressive. At least Rocket never allows anyone to push him around.
9. And To Be As Blunt As Drax When The Situation Calls For It
Irony is so lost with Drax that it may never be found again. But sometimes speaking plainly is the way to go.
10. You Try To Guess Which Marvel Characters Will Make Secret Cameos
There has to be at least one, if only in a post-credits scene.
11. And How The Guardians Will Be Integrated Into Avengers: Infinity War
Entertain yourself for hours by dreaming up meetings between Black Widow and Drax; Steve Rogers and Gamora; and, my personal favorite, Bruce Banner and Groot.
12. You Set An Alert For Ticket Sales & Do Some Practice Runs
You're not settling for less than reserved seats in the dead center of the theater.
13. You Open Your Heart To This Merry Band Of Weirdos All Over Again
The Guardians are perfectly imperfect, which make them the most relateable of the entire Marvel canon.
Wherever you currently are in this journey, just remember that you can do it. Nobody knows waiting like Marvel fans.