Going to a department store and building DIY furniture as a couple has become a relationship rite of passage. There are so many jokes about it destroying you as a couple — so much so that comedians built a fake (or not so fake) relationship saving station in an IKEA, with adorable pictures to help calm you down. And you know what, you'll probably need it. But when you actually get the damn things home, things get so much worse.
Sure, there are some people who are DIY prodigies. They pull out a few pieces, take a quick look at the directions, and hum their way through with a little head bob and not a care in the world. I hate those people. Those people are not my people. My people are the screaming, crying, praying-to-a-god-that-I-don't-believe-in type, desperate to do anything to make it stop. I accidentally swallow the pieces. That's just me doing DIY on my own. If you are doing it as a couple, it's a whole other ball game.
Because doing it as part of a relationship means seeing your partner in a whole new light. It's basically a relationship gauntlet, because it's not just building a couch or a table — it's a series of dozens of small hurdles, every new piece its own separate challenge. If you make it through as a couple unscathed, you deserve a prize or at least to have sex for a whole week.
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So if you haven't been there before, here are the stages of doing DIY as a couple, because it's an emotional roller coaster from start to finish.