The Ideal Date Idea For Each Myers-Briggs Type
Whether you're single or in a relationship, a fresh new idea for date night still probably seems appealing. But amongst the seemingly endless ideas you can find online, there's always a bunch that seem too plain, too insane, or simply just too expensive. Luckily, taking ideas for dating based on Myers-Briggs type can help narrow the scope and bring you closer to the romantic shakeup you're looking for.
The Myers-Briggs test divides personalities into sixteen types, based on a set of four opposites: extroversion and introversion, sensing and intuition, thinking and feeling, and judging and perceiving. These types, delineated by the mother-daughter pair of Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers, explore how people go about in the world, including in dating.
"Just as people tend to rely on one hand more than the other, they tend to prefer and rely on one opposite in each pair more than the other," Poppy and Geoff Spencer, M.S., CPC, Certified MBTI Practitioners, tell Bustle. The opposites, explain the Spencers, explore how people like to be approached, how people prefer to take in information, how people try to make decisions, and when people want to make decisions. All of these factors, approached correctly, can help create the recipe for a perfect date.
So whether you're looking for a shakeup or a new beginning, check out your personality type's favorite kind of date below. Here are 16 ideas for the perfect date, according to Myers-Briggs type.
1. ISFJ: Farmer's Market & Make A Meal Together
ISFJs (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) are "endlessly loyal," Christie Tcharkhoutian, Professional Matchmaker & Marriage and Family Therapist, tells Bustle. An ISFJ might be just fine with 'Netflix and chill' if you're already serious, but really, ISFJs want something that can engage your chemistry as a couple more. “They will very often think of their partners needs before themselves," says Tcharkoutian. So go above and beyond for them.
Ideal date? "Go to a street fair or farmer’s market, to gather items and then bring back to make a meal together, which will help get the best of both worlds," Tcharkhoutian says. Try a mini apple pie for dessert for an extra dose of adorable.
2. ISFP: Surprise Weekend Getaway
Also known as "The Adventurer," according to Tcharkhoutian, ISFPs (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving) are, well, true to their name. “ISFPs have a true exploratory nature in which they love to discover new things and have new experiences," Tacharkhoutian says. "They are charming and easy-going, attracting many potential dates to their agreeable and adventurous nature."
Looking to match your ISFP partner's energy? "Surprise [them] with a weekend getaway to an undisclosed secret location," the Spencers suggest. If that's too much, Tcharkhoutian says just building a pillow fort at home with them can make their ISFP heart soar (they are an adventurous introvert, after all).
3. ESFJ: Go To A Party
ESFJs (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) are super-social and motivated by high energy and excitement. “An ESFJ has no problem connecting with others and attracting potential partners. They are warm, compassionate and conflict-avoidant, making them eager to please their date and make sure they are happy," says Tcharkhoutian.
An ESFJ is happy on a date that involves connecting with other people in some form. The Spencers suggest a party (gallery opening, anyone?) and Tcharkhoutian recommends a sports game. Going anywhere where the ESFJ can feed off of radiating group energy will make the date spark a little bit more.
4. ESFP: Arcade Games Or Karaoke
The ESFP (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving) is all about putting on a good show, so their perfect date would allow them to entertain in some capacity. “ESFPs energy and enthusiasm makes them the life of any room they walk into. In dating, this can translate to many potential partners being drawn in by all of their energy and commanding of attention," Tcharkhoutian says.
But they're not going to steal the spotlight from their partner. “ESFP likes being of service to others and is loyal to boot," say the Spencers.
Tcharkhoutian suggests classic date ideas like arcade games or karaoke, but you can spin that romantic evening into something more unique to their personality type by adding an act of service to the evening. "Throw a 'cause' party where you and your date offer something back to the community or someone you care about who could use your help," the Spencers say. Not feeling up to hosting your own "party with a purpose?" Find a local event with proceeds going to a good cause and head there together.
5. ISTJ: Museum
ISTJs (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) are the straightforward thinkers of the group. "'ISTJ’s are practical and direct in their approach to dating. As introverts, they can often come off as disinterested, but deep down they truly value loyalty, devotion, and persistence," says Tcharkhoutian. And they love to learn.
"Going to visit a museum where you can connect about the art [and] culture and also learn together [is ideal]" says Tcharkhoutian. To show your ISTJ partner how much you love them, you can show them that you share their devotion by doing a little homework before the date.
"Research artists you both are interested in,” the Spencers say. The hardworking ISTJ would love to see that you put some thought into the experience, too.
6. ISTP: Anything Thrill-Seeking
ISTPs' (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving) biggest turn off? Trying to hurry through plans. “ISTP appreciates efficiency and what makes sense, while enjoying reflection and process time. Rushing this type to hurry up and decide what to do is a turn off," say the Spencers. Also known as "The Virtuoso," your ISTP date probably wants to try something new, but in a strategic way.
Plan a week ahead, say the Spencers, but don't forget ISTPs still love a good time. “Fun date ideas include anything thrill-seeking," says Tcharkhoutian.
So if you've never tried zip-lining but are dying to take a stab at it, an adventurous date with an ISTP is the perfect opportunity.
7. ESTJ: Trivia Night At A Local Bar
An ESTJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) thrives on their practical leadership skills and innate confidence. “An ESTJ is a born leader, who thrives in managing people and situations. They are practical and goal-oriented, enjoying the details and finer things in life," says Tcharkhoutian.
You can show your ESTJ partner a good time, then, by showing them off. Their leadership skills and charisma will shine in a competitive social environment. Try trivia night at a local bar, or play a long game of Monopoly if you feel like staying cozy at home.
8. ESTP: Something Spontaneous
ESTPs (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving) are all about balance. The combination of extroversion and perceptive logic means that ESTPs can go with the flow more than most Myers-Briggs "Thinkers."
"They thrive off of taking risks and enjoy being spontaneous in planning dates. They are also very resourceful and can make the best of any situation," Tcharkhoutian says. So try doing something that brings out that free-spirited side of your partner.
The ESTP's ideal date wouldn't be planned out in advance. "[Try] driving to a fun place in town and seeing what happens!" suggests Tcharkhoutian. Some of the coolest hidden gems are found this way, and it'll be a cute little story to share between you two when you stumble upon a speakeasy you two never knew existed.
9. INFJ: Poetry Reading & Dinner
INFJs (Introverted, Intuiting, Feeling, Judging) are quiet and gentle, yes, but what really makes them stand out if their ability to care for others. “Endlessly optimistic, INFJs always look for the good in others and will always hope for the dating partners to provide them the deep connection they search for. INFJs are truly looking for emotional intimacy, so spending time with a date over long hours of conversation is what makes them feel most connected," says Tcharkhoutian.
Since they value this kind of shared time, try a poetry or a book reading, followed by a long dinner where you can discuss what you heard. "Be sure to allow time to dig deep to listen as they share their opinions," the Spencers say. Learning together and exploring one another's point of view will really set the mood for the soulful INFJ.
10. INFP: Picnic
INFPs (Introverted, Intuiting, Feeling, Perceiving) are definitely the romantic type. "This dating partner sees the good in all people and things, including you," the Spencers say. Their introverted side makes them a bit soul-searching too, so a date that brings out their inner poet-philosopher would be ideal.
“They are calm and good-natured and also very introspective and curious about the world," says Tcharkhoutian. Try laying a picnic blanket down and stargazing with a bottle of wine, or bring a bunch of old magazines to the park and try to write some blackout poetry together.
11. ENFJ: Volunteer Together
If you feel like your ENFJ (Extroverted, Intuiting, Feeling, Judging) partner just "gets" you, you're not alone. "If your partner is an ENFJ, you’re in ... they believe in you, even if you don’t," the Spencers say.
Always the charmer and people-pleaser, "The Protagonist" ENFJ loves a non-competitive social event where everybody can shine. "They are friendly and selfless and are always looking to care for other people," Tcharkhoutian says. A perfect date for this type could then be a group scavenger hunt, volunteer activity, or even people-watching in a busy place: anything to make your ENFJ partner feel part of the action in a positive way.
12. ENFP: Cooking Class
ENFPs (Extroverted, Intuiting, Feeling, Perceiving) will charm your socks off. “[Their] confidence and charm make them highly attractive and fun to be around. They are able to connect with people and bring out the best in others while maintaining their sense of fun, creativity and intimacy," says Tcharkhoutian.
Chemistry is vital for an ENFP. "They love to seek meaning beneath the surface and thrive on identifying creative possibilities for the future," the Spencers say. A creative project can help you explore this spark. “[Try] a 4-session cooking class that they can have fun with," suggest the Spencers. Bonus points for hosting a dinner party after it's done and showing off your new skills to a few friends.
13. INTJ: A Speaking Event
INTJs (Introverted, Intuiting, Thinking, Judging) are just as relentless in pursuit of a partner as they are in pursuit of knowledge. And, according to Tcharkhoutian, the INTJ dating style reflects their intelligence and strategic mind. “When an INTJ sets their minds on dating someone, they will pursue them whole-heartedly. As a dater, an INTJ will enjoy planning an exciting day date where they can intellectual engage," Tcharkhoutian says.
Try a speaking event or a talk-back, suggest the Spencers, where your date can ask questions and get engaged. Or even join a book club as a couple, so you can grow and learn together (and share a cute recurring date).
14. INTP: Host A Small Dinner Party
INTPs (Introverted, Intuiting, Thinking, Perceiving) might be driven by reason, but that doesn't keep them away from deep romantic connections. “As masters of logic, INTPs use their intellect to connect with others. INTPs are the people that love a witty texting thread, but are often shy in their pursuit and planning of dates [and] romantic partners," says Tcharkhoutian. But once you've gotten that intellectual connection, an INTP is beautifully loyal.
Tcharkhoutian suggests that a perfect INTP date could be anything from peaceful coffee shop visit to a whale-watch, anywhere that you can have quiet conversation and connection while observing the world around you. If you're further into the relationship, the Spencers suggest really leaning into the INTP's intellectual side. "Have a small dinner party where you invite some brilliant thinkers, philosophers, [and] teachers, and open the intellectual floodgates," the Spencers say. The INTP will walk away smiling, especially if they learn something new about you, too.
15. ENTJ: Game Night
ENTJs (Extroverted, Intuiting, Thinking, Judging) definitely like to be the leaders in everything, including relationships. “[ENTJs] use their confidence to lead the planning in dates. They are upset by dates who are flaky or don’t desire making plans ahead of time," Tcharkhoutian says. But even if you (a non-ENTJ) are trying to plan for your ENTJ partner, you can find ways to continue to engage their personality type.
"Give your ENTJ a goal-oriented event: a hockey game, or a football game where [they] can mastermind and plan the tailgate and all of the logistics," the Spencers say. If they're not a sports person, plan a game night with stations, prizes, and a points system to make it interesting.
16. ENTP: Dance Class
ENTPs (Extroverted, Intuiting, Thinking, Perceiving) have a flexible attitude that makes them super fun on a date. "ENTPs utilize their endless curiosity about the world to connect with other people in intellectual and meaningful ways. An ENTP is also a planner, but their 'P' helps them be creative and open about where their plans take them," says Tcharkhoutian.
Although they're somewhat go-with-the-flow, Tcharkhoutian says, an ENTP isn't satisfied with "ordinary" dates like coffee or drinks. Dance class, anyone? Just make sure your "Debater" partner gets their space to talk about it after.
Whatever your (or your partner's) type, your personality traits should guide you to something fun and outside of the box. "The Myers-Briggs assessment indicates your preferred way of doing certain things; it does not indicate your ability to do those things," the Spencers say. So you are totally capable of doing an ISTJ adventure if you're an ENFP. And if you're an ISTJ/ENFP couple, there's no harm trying both next weekend.