I'm all about honest communication in the bedroom. But there's a difference between being honest and saying every single thing that comes to your mind. There are some things you should just never say in bed under any circumstances, because instead of getting your partner in the mood, you'll only lead them to shut down.
If you want to become more communicative in the bedroom, there are plenty of things you can say. "What do you like better, this or this?", "Do you like that?", "I like that," and "That feels so good" are all great places to start. If your goal is to give feedback, there's a tactful way to do that, too. Try starting with something you love about your sex life, then asking for something new and reiterating the positive again. "Guide them and give encouragement when they hit a spot you like," Marissa Nelson, LMFT, tells Bustle. That way, your partner won't be left feeling insecure.
Dirty talk can also be fun, but discuss it in advance to make sure you're only saying things your partner actually wants to hear. Find a time to talk about it outside the heat of the moment, and make it clear what you do want and what you don't want as well.
There are several phrases, however, that are likely to leave your partner feeling insecure, pressured, or upset. Here are some things you should probably avoid saying in bed.