This Baguette Light Is Here To Save You From The Darkness
The Lord of Bread — a real entity who I happen to worship — has decided to make all of your wishes come true. Because today, this day of days, I present you with a baguette light made from an actual baguette. If you thought that the croissant light was enough, you were wrong — this has more bread and is therefore superior.
And yes, it's made from ACTUAL bread. "Hand-crafted in Japan, this baguette bread lamp is made from real bread and has an LED light replaced in the inside to create a soft, warm light," the description explains. "Each piece is coated in resin to prevent decay."
OK, but here's my favorite bit. They also list the ingredients and it's WILD: "Composition: flour, salt, yeast, LED, battery, preservative."
Yes, all of those things in combination give you ... the baguette light. Now, it doesn't come cheap — we're talking $249, to be exact. But the good news is that Japanese brand Pampshade seems to specialize in all manner of bread/light hybrids — and they come in at different prices. The bigger the bread item, the more expensive it is. It a pretty easy formula to follow.
You can get Coupe Bread Light for $75 — a little nugget of delicious goodness that looks picture-perfect. If you want to go bigger, there's the Batard Bread Light for $229. And of course, there's the Croissant Light, which will set you back $88.
Real bread that never goes moldy and can help light your way home — it's almost too perfect to imagine. Why haven't they written a love song to these yet? Was Coldplay's "Fix You" written by these bread lamps? I'm assuming yes. What I'm saying is I want this baguette light to be my life coach.
And can I just say, that these would make perfect night lights. Night lights for adults don't get nearly enough attention, but some of us love them because we are scared of the dark from watching far too many Law and Order: SVU episodes and/or we walk into crap when we get up in the night to pee. This is our burden, but these lights are our reward.
In fact, the right lamp can solve a lot of different woes. There are light therapy lamps aimed at helping people whose mental health suffers in the winter when there's not enough sunlight, there are plenty of lamps designed specifically for reading. And, if your Insta game if your priority, then there's even a lamp that doesn't cast any shadows that will help you take the perfect pic every single time. When it comes to lighting, you don't have to mess around — there's definitely a way to find exactly what you need.
But while so many of these lamps are about substance, there's something to be said for the pure style of a bread-based lamp. Is a baguette light specifically designed to increase your mental health? No. But is being that close to bread going to improve your mood? I am not a medical professional, but I'm pretty sure that is an astounding yes. So embrace the bread light. It will do you good — according to me, not according to science. Science has other things to do.