Viewers knew they were in for a treat when the promos for Season 3 promised a Lemonade parody on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. When the first teaser for the new batch of episodes was released this past February, it featured beloved character Titus Andromedon in full-out no-marking Queen Bey mode, strutting down the street in the singer's iconic yellow "Hold Up" outfit, and swinging a bat into the window of his lover Mikey Politano's truck. Now that Season 3 has premiered, the full sequence is available for consumption… and it doesn't disappoint. In fact, Titus' "Hold Up" parody lyrics are everything I could have hoped for and more.
The music-video-within-a-show starts with a black-and-white spoken word sequence that looks ripped straight out of Lemonade. Subtitled "Furiosity," the intro features Titus floating in an underwater hotel room, while in voiceover he intones:
That's when the fun really starts. As the scene switches to Titus' yellow-clad strut down a sidewalk, baseball bat in hand, viewers start hearing his revised versions of Beyoncé's lyrics. (Netflix has not released official lyrics, so these may not be 100 percent accurate.)
So far so good.
Personally I might prefer heartbreak to cockroaches, but to each his own.
After a reprise of the chorus, we're right back into it:
A dartboard? Sports? Queens?? Mikey really was in denial…
I do like Mikey's haircut this season, I'm not gonna lie.
Another reprise of the chorus, and then the big finish:
Listen. I know that Beyoncé is a hero, and Lemonade is a triumph of contemporary music… but in all honesty, this is probably going to be the version of "Hold Up" I play on repeat while I'm walking down the street.
Thank you, Titus Andromedon, for this hilarious gift of self-righteous sass.
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