If all goes according to plan, the restaurant that Lisa Vanderpump is opening with Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz could open its doors in just a few months. When that day comes, brace yourself for the Tom Tom cocktail menu. Because the cocktails served at the eatery that was named after Schwartz and Sandoval will not be any old drinks. They will be speciality cocktails that were brewed up in the mind of a Vanderpump Rules legend.
Earlier this year, Sandoval and Schwartz told Bustle that Tom Tom is aiming to open in June 2018. Now, if you can't wait that long to find out what the speciality beverages will be called, you are in luck. In a new interview with Bravo's The Daily Dish, Sandoval offered up some Tom Tom cocktail menu details. Some might say he has spilled the drink… list names, that is. (Sorry, that joke was about as cheesy as a SUR goat cheese ball.) He told The Daily Dish,
“I’m working on the cocktail list right now. There’s going to be one called the Gentleman’s Curse. Another one called Fire and Ice. We have The Vicious Pimp."
The Vicious Pimp? Oh. Well, then. That's, um, rather evocative. Sandoval continued,
"There’s going to be a Tom Tom cocktail.”
And why wouldn’t there be a drink that is named after the restaurant that is named after the Toms of Pump Rules? After he shared this morsel, The Daily Dish clip cut to footage taken with an iPhone in which Schwartz and Sandoval joke that the Tom Tom would be made of Coors Lite and Nerds candy. Let the idea of that horrific flavor combination wash over you like a tidal wave made of... Coors Lite and Nerds candy.
After the Coors Lite and Nerds nightmare ended, Sandoval added that there will be a “CBD cocktail that’s almost going to be like a Thin Mint.” He explained that the flavor will remind patrons of “Christmas” and “growing up eating Girl Scout cookies.” And so, it shall be named Nostalgia, which is pronounced nuh-stahl-GEE-uh.
Sandoval and Schwartz have been dropping a lot of hints about the cocktails their restaurant will have in store for customers. A few episodes ago, for example, they met up with LVP and Ken at the construction site and presented them with one idea for the drink menu. The concoction, which included mezcal, cilantro, cucumber, orange juice, and scorpion chili-infused honey, seemed to impress LVP and Ken, but will it make the final cut? Fans will just have to wait and find out.
When Bustle spoke with the Toms, they mentioned the science that will go into some of the spirits that will be available at Tom Tom. Sandoval said,
“I have machines that I can do my own infusions that would normally take 30 days in 30 minutes. I have more than one machine that I’m looking at using that freezes alcohol… to where you can take shots off of wooden spoons. This is gonna be alcohol consumption on a whole other level.”
OK, what is the name of the wooden spoon shot? Is it just called “the wooden spoon shot,” or does it have an original name? Of all the names that Sandoval listed, Gentleman’s Curse feels like the most fitting title for this wooden spoon novelty cocktail. The backstory possibilities are endless. Maybe a gentleman got a splinter when he picked up a wooden spoon and yelled, “Curses!” Maybe a vengeful sorcerer cast a spell on a gentleman that made it so he always had to use spoons in lieu of glassware. Or maybe someone put a curse on a gentleman that involves leaving him with ten thousand wooden spoons when all he needs is a wooden knife.
Whether the wooden spoon shots have a name or not, this menu sure is intriguing. So far, the drinks at Tom Tom sound like Sexy Unique Libation— oh, wait. Wrong restaurant.