In a perfect world, all first dates would be an exciting, romantic, and totally stress-free experience — but in reality, going on a first date usually feels far from easy-breezy. Meeting someone new, especially in a romantic context, is always nerve-wracking, because it's pretty much impossible to know exactly what your date wants, likes, or expects. But thanks to some new data, we now at least have a better idea of what women really want on a first date — and the number one thing is probably not what you'd imagine.
According to Match's 2018 Singles In America survey of over 5,000 singles across the country, ages 18-70+ and of all ethnicities and sexual orientations, the most important thing single women are looking for on a first date isn't a surprise bouquet of flowers, but a feeling: comfort. Of the women surveyed, 79 percent said they most care about feeling comfortable on a first date, even above feeling happy (35 percent) and liked (27 percent).
"It makes complete sense that women have a higher need to feel comfortable over the need to feel happy or liked on a first date," Kali Rogers, Relationship/Dating Expert and Founder of Blush Online Life Coaching, tells Bustle. "If you're relying on the basic psychological spectrum — Maslow's hierarchy of needs — feeling 'safe' is a requirement before one can feel 'loved/needed.' According to Maslow, humans must always feel safe and secure first before their emotions are able to truly develop. So what most women are realizing, is they can't tell if they feel attracted or drawn to a date if they don't feel comfortable first." Of course, first date nerves are inevitable, but once those wear off, it's so important to feel comfortable and relaxed — because that will allow the two of you to really make a connection.
If you're curious what else single women are looking for, here are seven turn-ons and turn-offs that might surprise you.