Roughly 60 percent of the adult human body is made of water. The other 40 percent is rosé. If you're feeling depleted and H20 won't do the job, I have exciting news for you: rosé is on sale at Whole Foods starting tomorrow, April 4, and ending May 29, they announced in a blog post. Their Master Sommelier and team of wine connoisseurs handpicked 12 rosé wines, according to Marie Claire, ranging from $7.99 to $39.99 a bottle. In other words, you could get an entire bottle of rosé for lunch for the same price as that dull sandwich you normally purchase. I'm not saying you should drink wine for lunch. I'm just saying you could drink wine for lunch.
Marie Claire provides the full list of wines that will be on sale, which include Orlana Rosé Vinho Verde, Skouras Zoe Rosé, Folie en Provence – Provence Rosé, and Summer Water Rosé. The timing couldn't be more perfect, because May 25 is National Wine Day, according to the National Day Calendar — not to be confused with National Drink Wine Day in February. Have you already blocked the day off, put a giant red square around it, and told everyone not to text or call you? Me too.
In celebration of the giant sale, Whole Foods offers a number rosé sangria drink options on their blog, like frozen watermelon rosé sangria and pineapple rosé sangria. They indeed sound delicious, albeit a bit high-maintenance for me. I prefer my rosé in a bucket, with a straw and a bib.
The timing is likely no coincidence, but the rosé sale also simply follows one common law of business: supply and demand. As supply increases, so too does demand. And in the case of us and rosé, "demand" is probably putting lightly. We want it all day, every day. Rosé jelly arrived not that long ago to change the game of peanut butter sandwiches forever. People went crazy for rosé-infused gummy bears, even though the alcohol content isn't high enough to get us drunk. But don't worry, because later on, Angry Orchard introduced rosé hard cider, and now we've seen it all.
It's perhaps no surprise Whole Foods jumped on the rosé bandwagon. They're kind of like the Google of grocery stores — always watching, always showing us what we want. Need I remind you of that time during the holidays when they had the 12 Days of Cheese sale? Seriously, Whole Foods is on a whole other level.
Whole Foods predicted the huge food trends that would take over in 2018 — including edible flowers, mushrooms as the new kale, and potato chip alternatives (all hail Trader Joe's plantain chips!). Rosé wasn't on the list, but only because, I'd imagine, the trend already had us in a headlock in 2017. Clearly, it just won't let go. What is it about rosé that we've fallen in love with? Is it the delicious and satisfying taste? Is it the intoxicating smell? Is it that it's pink, so honestly, who cares what it tastes or smells like? My money's there.
We already loved Whole Foods for who they are on the inside (literally), but a lot changed when Amazon bought them, like the prices and discounts, and the free, two-hour grocery delivery available for Prime members. And now we love them just a little bit more for it. Could this latest sale be an attempt to better appeal to millennials — the biggest generation with perhaps the greatest spending potential — who can't afford most of their food but will continue to shop there anyway? Possibly...
Whole Foods, you have my money. Cheers!