If you've ever had the urge to get up and pee during sex, you're definitely not alone. This is a pretty common feeling to get when something's pressing on the inside of your vagina, Good Vibrations staff sexologist Carol Queen tells Bustle. Sometimes, it really does just mean you have to pee. But other times, pushing through it can yield some pretty rewarding results.
That "I have to pee" feeling usually comes about because your bladder and vagina are so close together, says Queen. If your bladder is full, it'll be more easily pressed, so one way to avoid the sensation is to pee before sex. It may get harder if you wait until you've started due to the engorgement that happens when you're aroused.
If you really have to pee, the sensation will probably get painful, says Queen. But if you don't, there's a chance that you're actually going to squirt. "Pee-urgency really is a notorious sensation felt by those who are about to ejaculate," says Queen. "It’s likely associated with the excitation of the nerves that serve both the bladder and the so-called G-spot." So, if you're not experiencing too much physical discomfort, it may be worth pushing through.
Not sure what describes your situation? There are three different ways the peeing feeling might show up, says Queen. Here's how to deal with each one.
It Feels Painful
If the discomfort gets so strong you have a hard time continuing, chances are you actually have to pee. Queen doesn't recommend trying to work through this. Go to the bathroom (and wait for your vagina to go back to normal first if you need to), and see if it gets easier afterward.
It Feels Weird
G-spot stimulation can be really intense, which can include feelings of having to pee. If you want to work through this, make sure you're turned on, or else it can become uncomfortable, says Queen. You or your partner can put a finger or toy in your vagina, press on the upper wall, and stroke. Use lots of lube to minimize discomfort.
It Feels OK, But You're A Little Freaked Out
Often, the discomfort that stops people from continuing with sex when they start to feel like they have to pee is more emotional than physical, says Queen. Maybe you're afraid you're going to pee on your partner or you're scared that it indicates a problem. But if you're physically comfortable enough to keep at it, Queen says, "put a towel down and go for it."
If your fear of peeing is tripping you up, try talking to your partner to put any worries at ease, and focus instead on all the pleasant sensations you're feeling during sex.
"One of the greatest sources of sexual dysfunction is being too up in your head, worrying, thinking too much," says Queen, "and sex therapists recommend that you get out of that loop." So, relax and trust that as long as you're not in pain, only good things can happen.