Sometimes, we can point toward the reason sex isn’t enjoyable for us. Maybe our partner’s technique is off, or maybe we’re not that attracted to them. But once in a while, the sex just isn’t great and you don’t know why. You could blame it on bad chemistry, or perhaps something you can’t put your finger on. Whatever it is, it sucks when you can’t enjoy sex as much as you did with previous partners, especially if you don’t know what to do about it because you can’t figure out what’s wrong.
"Chemistry between two people is mysterious,” Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, founder of online relationship community Relationup tells Bustle. "It is hard to know exactly what makes it work, but undoubtedly it involves primitive parts of ourselves — our unconscious mind, our innate biological processes (secretion of hormones), and our sensory experiences. When the spark is there, it is there! And when it isn’t, it is really hard to create it.”
Chemistry isn’t always a good indicator of how compatible we are with a person, though. So, bad initial chemistry isn’t necessarily a reason to give up on a relationship. Here’s what you can do if the sex is lacking for no particular reason.