Um, What Am I Supposed To Do With My Partner's Balls?
Don’t worry, they’re really not that complicated.
Balls: ever-present, yet often forgotten about. Testicles can be perplexing to a lot of people who don't have them, but they’re really not that complicated. Media often reminds us that they can be a source of pain (cue the montage of ball-hitting jokes in every bro-comedy ever), but they can also be a tremendous source of pleasure. In fact, they’re so frequently left out of the fun that even the simplest licks or touches can leave the recipient breathless. So if your partner asks you to play with their balls, don’t get nervous — here are some tips for how to stimulate them.
“The testicles have a lot of nerve endings and are a critical piece of the male erogenous zones. We tend to be very penis-centered,” says Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach and educator.
Curious as to how to take advantage of your partner’s most sensitive bits without sending them into pain? Here are some helpful dos and don’ts of playing with your partner's balls, plus some ideas for how to stimulate them.
Do: Pay Attention To Your Partner’s Balls
Even if your partner hadn’t explicitly asked you to play with their balls, sex therapist Vanessa Marin, stills recommends getting familiar with your significant other's testicles, assuming they're cool with it. Of course, everyone is different, but many people enjoy having their balls touched, licked, sucked, and played with. There are nerve endings there, after all.
Don’t: Body Shame Your Partner
Marin says that a lot of people who don't have testicles might think that balls look "funny" or "weird," so balls wind up being the brunt of a lot of teasing. It’s important to remember to treat your partner’s body the same way you would want them to treat yours. Would you want your partner laughing at the shape of your breasts, or saying “Ew, I don’t know if I want to touch those” about your labia? Probably not. Don’t make a joke if your partner wants their balls stimulated, and don’t make any comments about how they look. Soon enough you’ll learn to appreciate the unique charm of testicles!
Do: Experiment With Your Technique
Every testicle is different, so it’s worth playing around to find out what your partner likes! Marin suggests some of these ideas to try:
- Cup both of their testicles in one of your hands.
- Gently caress their testicles with your fingertips or your palms.
- Play with each testicle individually.
- Gently pull down on their entire sack. (The key word here is gently!)
- Put lube on the testicles and explore how that changes the sensation.
Don’t: Be Too Rough With Their Balls
You’re right that the testicles can be pretty sensitive. Many people have had experiences of being accidentally hit or kicked in the balls, so there’s an added layer of fear anytime someone comes near them. Be gentle with the family jewels, especially during your first explorations.
Marin says that if you’re really worried, ask your partner to show you how much pressure you can use before it starts feeling uncomfortable. Wrap your hand around their testicles, and ask them to put their hand on top of yours. They can squeeze or tug to show you what level of stimulation feels good, and can tell you when it starts to feel too intense.
Do: Pair Ball Play With Other Activities
A lot of people love having their penises and balls stimulated at the same time. I mean, why not; it’s double the fun. Marin suggests giving your partner a hand job with one hand while you play with their testicles with the other. Or suck on their balls while you stroke their shaft with your hand. You can also try caressing their balls with your hand while you give them a blow job. The options are nearly endless!
Don’t: Be Too Gentle With Their Balls
On the other hand, testicles can be a bit ticklish if you touch them too softly. Marin says to try cupping their balls or rubbing them with the palm of your hand at first. Your fingertips are more likely to create a tickling sensation, especially if you’re nervous, but your palm will be more sturdy.
Do: Turn To Them To Slow Things Down
If your partner tends to orgasm on the faster side, you can take breaks from hand jobs, blow jobs, penetrative sex, or any combination you're working with to play with their balls. It will still feel pleasurable, but not with the same kind of intensity that propels people towards orgasm. This can also be a great strategy during foreplay to tease your partner until you have them begging you for more.
Don’t: Get It Twisted
Despite appearances, testicles don't float freely inside the scrotum. Marin warns that you shouldn’t try to move your partner's balls around in their scrotum too much. You can play with them individually, but the lefty needs to stay on the left, and the righty needs to stay on the right. Too much twisting can cause a lot of pain.
Do: Pay Particular Attention To The Seam
The area between someone's two testicles (sometimes referred to as the “seam”) can be especially sensitive. Marin advises putting your thumb on the side of their scrotum facing you, and your pointer finger on the side facing towards their back. Very gently hold the skin between your fingers, and slide your fingers down the length of the sack. Let go and start over from the top. You can also stroke the seam with your tongue.
Do: Use Your Mouth On Their Balls
Your tongue and mouth can create some amazing sensation on your partner's testicles. Marin suggests trying out some of the following techniques:
- Lick their testicles. Play around with keeping your tongue wide and flat versus more pointy.
- Try replicating a figure-eight motion around their sack.
- Trace your tongue from the back of his scrotum, along the seam to the front.
- Hold their testicles in your mouth and swirl your tongue around them.
Do: Ask What They Like
At the end of the day, your partner is the expert when it comes to their on their own balls, Marin notes. Ask them if they play with their balls when they masturbate, and have them show you their techniques. Or try out some of the ideas mentioned above, and ask them which ones they likes best.
The most important thing to remember, though, is to have fun exploring. Creating intimacy between you and your partner is all about discovering each other, and each other's bodies, in gentle, nonjudgmental ways. Bringing your partner's testicles to the party is just another way to enjoy each other's company.
Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach and educator.
Vanessa Marin, sex therapist
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