If You & Your Best Friend Hug, Are You Actually That Close?

When you hang out with your best friend you might curl up on the couch, talk about your deepest, darkest secrets, and let your guard down as you laugh, cry, and vent. You’ll feel incredibly comfortable, loved, and seen — but according to TikTok, you probably won’t bother to hug.

The theory that “best friends never hug” has been making the rounds on the platform since 2022 when creator @_nvila speculated that friends who never hug are often closer for longer than friends who hug all the time because it means they don’t overstep each other's boundaries.

In another viral video posted in 2023, @mandiikierra said her best friend was clearly “stuck with her forever” because they’d only hugged four times in 15 years. And on July 7, @meaganlbruce raised the question again when she said she’s only hugged her best friend twice in the last 14 years.

When you think about it, true BFFs often have strong sibling energy, and that might explain why you aren’t tangled in a constant embrace. Heck, your bestie might come over and make themselves at home without even saying hi. There’s a good chance you see each other regularly, too, which leaves little desire for a reunion-level squeeze.

When you part ways after hanging out, you likely say bye without much pomp and circumstance for the same reason. Meanwhile, think about how often you’ve side-hugged lesser friends, sheepishly embraced an acquaintance, or over-compensated for awkwardness by reaching out your arms. Hint: It’s probably more times than you can count.

Of course, this theory is just a theory, but it has two camps: the people who 100% agree best friends never hug and those who think the idea is completely ludicrous.

Under @meaganlbruce’s video, one anti-hugger commented, “I gave my best friend of nearly 10 years a parting side hug at her bday party and was like ‘idk why i did that.’ we talk about our deepest traumas and yet cannot have any physical affection.” As if to support the no-hug theory, someone else wrote, “[my friend and I] hugged all the time, and now we don’t talk.”

Another comment read, “I don’t hug some of my friends cause they genuinely don’t like physical touch, and that seems chill,” which highlights the idea that your true besties would know and respect your boundaries. Someone else said, “I’ve hugged my bestie 2x in the 30+ years we’ve been friends. We are UNBREAKABLE.”

Some folks online admitted to giving their friend a squeeze on rare occasions, but they quickly clarified it’s because they live far apart or only see each other once in a blue moon.

“My best friend of 8 years? We hug when she visits from out of state. One hug when she comes in. One hug when she goes home.” Another seemed to agree by saying, “We [aren’t] huggers but once our friendship was long distance you bet we hug and cry every time [we see each other].”

Meanwhile, the pro-huggers can’t believe what they’re seeing, and under @mandiikierra’s video, they really sounded off with strong words and lots of crying emojis. One wrote, “As someone whose love language is physical touch, I don’t think I like this theory very much.”

Another said, “I hug and snuggle with my best friend whenever I see her. I’ve been friends with her since we were like 7.” And another put it bluntly by yelling, “No no no. Hug your friends!!!!”

So, where do you stand? Do you cuddle your best friend? Or does the idea seem bizarre? If it’s the latter, you might be besties for life.