One of the best parts about a new relationship is being in the honeymoon phase. Everything is new and exciting — you can stay up for hours just talking and never get tired and, literally, everything this new partner says is the most fascinating thing you've ever heard. And those quirks? The ones that are likely to
drive you nuts later on? Well, those are the most adorable things you've witnessed.
Studies have found that this part of the relationship, where you're falling in love, is on par with the same feeling cocaine gives you. Yes,
love and cocaine affect your brain in similar ways.
the honeymoon phase is indeed fantastic, it can't last — and that's OK. Not just because everything in life is fleeting, but because relationships have to evolve. “Sometimes people expect the honeymoon phase to last forever and that’s unrealistic,” NYC-based therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW tells Bustle. “People interpret getting comfortable with getting bored.”
Although the stability that comes as a partnership progresses is great, there's no debating that there’s something incredibly special about that
can’t-get-enough feeling at the beginning of a relationship. Here are physical signs of the honeymoon phase, according to experts. 1 Your Body Does All The Thinking Adene Sanchez/E+/Getty Images
Not that the body can think, per se, but it definitely seems to have a mind of its own when you're is in the honeymoon phase. All that person you're into has to do is walk into a room and your body responds immediately.
"You might find increased sexual arousal and frequency of sexual intercourse,"
board-certified psychiatrist, Dr. Susan Edelman, tells Bustle .
As certified clinical sexologist, sexuality counselor and author of
My Husband Wont Have Sex With Me and , The Ultimate Intimacy Guide For Passionate People Dr. Dawn Michael, tells Bustle, "The physical signs are that of the body wanting the other person. "For women, it can be she gets wet and she feels desire as her body gets turned on just from the presence of the person. He gets an erection and zeros in on her with intense focus." 2 You Have An Actual Craving
According to Dr. Michael, the bodies of two people in the honeymoon phase “literally crave each other.” Whether it's a matter of having all that sex or just being
wrapped up in each other's bodies, the yearning is real. 3 Increased Energy
If , in the
early stages of a relationship, you've found yourself able to stay up all night long with your partner, without getting tired, it's because of increased energy.
According to Dr. Edelman, a physical sign of the honeymoon phase is increased energy — for which we can thank adrenaline, as it's one of the hormones that's being released during this phase, in addition to dopamine and serotonin.
4 The First Thing You Do Is Kiss Your Partner When You Come Home
If the first thing you do after a long day at work is look for your partner when you come home, that’s a good sign that you’re still in the honeymoon phase. As
Laura Silverstein, LCSW, certified couples therapist and author of tells Bustle, couples who do this tend to prioritize their relationship. Love Is an Action Verb,
“Let's face it, life is busy,” she says. “Many times we enter our homes with arms full of groceries while chatting on the phone and closing the door behind us with an elbow or heel. But when you make it a daily habit to track your partner down for a millisecond of connection before tending to the rest of your responsibilities it keeps you and your partner feeling loved and connected.”
5 There's A Whole Boatload Of Smiling filadendron/E+/Getty Images
"You smile when your eyes lock with your partner," says Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of
Ignite Your Pleasure, tells Bustle, "and [you] make and take the time to do [it]."
Although we should, ideally, be smiling at least once a day, you can recognize someone in the honeymoon phase because even just a look at their partner will bring on the smiling.
6 You Initiate Physical Contact For Connection, Not Just For Sex
You can still find yourself in the honeymoon phase after years of being together. According to Silverstein, it’s not impossible to hold on to the kind of chemistry you first had at the beginning of the relationship. It does, however, take a bit of intentionality. One of the the best ways to keep the passion alive is to initiate affection throughout the day without any intentions of it leading to something more.
“By kissing, holding hands, and giving massages, you are nonverbally reminding each other that you are lovers, not roommates,” Silverstein say. “This often makes the let-down easier if one person is not in the mood for sex.”
7 Your Attention On Each Other Becomes Hyper-Focused
"There is also the idea of hyper-focus that happens where [the two people] focus attention on each other, more so than anything else," says Dr. Michael. "This can be caused by hormones — men and women both release healthy amounts of testosterone and estrogen —in the brain leading to lust based in our biology of mating."
8 So. Much. Making. Out.
Although totally normal,
makeout sessions tend to dwindle as relationships progress, but in the early stages, they're hot and heavy and frequent. According to Levine, you're not just giving each other a peck, but frenching all the d*mn time. 9 Your Emotions Are Affected
When the physical reaction is so all-encompassing, so non-stop, so near-obsession, everything gets affected — emotions included. "The hormones can be so powerful," says Dr. Michael, "that they affect emotions as well." But this is actually a good thing because if the emotions weren't there, you'd never evolve in your relationship.
10 You Remain Calm When Your Partner Is Having A Bad Day
Couples in the honeymoon phase give each other the benefit of the doubt when someone is moody or drops the ball and forgets to do something they said they would. You don’t automatically assume the worst or get negative.
“Thriving relationships stay fresh when you remember you're in a relationship with an imperfect human being who makes mistakes,” Silverstein says. “They forget to do things, and they get stressed out and moody. You can stay in the honeymoon phase by expecting these things to be normal parts of your love life.”
According to her, partners who are happiest always look for ways to “elevate each other’s awesomeness.” They never dwell on their faults. If you keep a positive mindset about your relationship, you can stay in the honeymoon phase for a long time.
While there's no denying that the honeymoon phase is essential in relationships, it's ultimately fleeting. So soak it all in while you have it, because that cozy, comfortable, I-can-pee-in-front-of-you stage is coming. But don't worry, it has its perks too.
Sources: Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, NYC-based therapist Dr. Susan Edelman, board-certified psychiatrist Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure Laura Silverstein, LCSW, certified couples therapist and author of Love Is an Action Verb
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This article was originally published on
July 23, 2018