Before there was Superbad, Can't Hardly Wait, or American Pie, there was a bevvy of raunchy teen comedies that came an entire generation before them. Fast Times as Ridgemont High, Revenge of the Nerds, and Porky's were all films that capitalized on the simple notion that young people really want to have sex and the quest to reach their goal can be really funny... and incredibly gross. Though many of the movies in this genre are pretty outright sexist and cringe-worthy, there are a few saving graces, like 1985's Weird Science which is celebrating its 30th anniversary. The film follows two computer nerds who program the world's perfect woman to get back at some bullies. Rather than turning into a sex robot, she teaches them a thing or two about growing up. How novel!
Weird Science is by far the dirtiest of the John Hughes canon. Though some hapless nerds tried desperately to see some underwear in Sixteen Candles and Clark Griswold has a few PG-13 fantasies in the Vacation movies, none are quite as raunchy as Weird Science. But really, what else do you expect when the geeks get together to craft their ideal woman? Boobs and legs...and lots of 'em. As groan-inducing as this all sounds, the movie was written by John Hughes, so it's got a lot more heart (and brains) than its taglines would have you presume.
Like almost every other John Hughes film, Weird Science was a launchpad for many successful (and not quite as successful) careers. Let's take a look at what the cast is up to 30 years later:
Anthony Michael Hall as Gary Wallace
Back then, Anthony Michael was THE go-to nerd for almost every '80s teen comedy
Hall has maintained a long and successful acting career ever since Weird Science was released. He's worked in both film and television and has been seen in such hits as The Dark Knight, Foxcatcher, and Psych.
Ilan Mitchell-Smith as Wyatt Donnelly
Every nerd needs a co-captain and Ilan Mitchell-Smith was it.
Smith ditched acting for academics. He's a professor of medieval literature at California State University, Long Beach. According to his students, he can be pretty intense. Smith has a 3.8 overall rating on Rate My Professor and one student grumbled, "Very very tough. This teacher grades you as if you are an English major, even if you are not." SHEESH. It's like that's his job or something...anyway, it's heartening to know he's still very much a nerd.
Kelly LeBrock as Lisa
The computer-programmed doll turned-real life woman with a brain even bigger than her hair.
LeBrock has continued to have a steady acting career since getting her biggest role in Weird Science. She has two films coming out in 2015 including 10 Days in a Madhouse and Hidden Affairs. LeBrock splits her time between acting and philanthropy as the international spokesperson for Club Carson, an organization dedicated to helping children with cancer, as well as charities devoted to autism outreach and education.
Bill Paxton as Chet Donnelly
The absolute definition of mean older brother. This guy was a Grade A jerk in the film.
Bill Paxton has done everything in his career including being a storm chaser (Twister), an astronaut (Apollo 13), and a deep sea explorer (Titanic). In short: he's an American TREASURE.
Robert Downey, Jr. as Ian
Don't let those eyelashes fool you, he was one awful bully!
...and now he's Iron Man. He also said feminsim was "make believe" so now he's on my sh*t list.
Robert Rusler as Max
WARNING: Creepazoids come in pairs.
Rusler has continued working steadily on the big and small screen. He's appeared in A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge and a handful of other horror movies as well as loads of TV shows including Babylon 5 and 24.
Suzanne Snyder as Deb
She's like totally the most popular girl in school!
Snyder also had a long run of horror films in her career including Return of the Living Dead II. She also double dipped in Seinfeld, playing Eva in "The Limo" and Audrey in "The Pie." Along with smaller acting roles, nowadays Snyder is really into yoga.
Judie Aronson as Hilly
Well if there's a hot blonde there has to be a hot brunette, RIGHT!?
After Weird Science, Aronson continued acting in film and television until 2006. Now she's the owner the very succesful RockIt Body Pilates.
Weird Science clearly did a lot for the cast in 1985 and it seems like they still like to keep in touch. Take a look:
If that doesn't spark your half-human half-doll heart, I don't know what will.
Images: Universal Pictures (3), NBC, Giphy (6)