We’re constantly fascinated by what our zodiac sign says about our love lives , whether it's which signs are most compatible, or how each sign handles conflict in relationships. That's why Bustle has enlisted Mecca Woods, a New York City-based Astrologer to tell us all about how astrology is affecting our love lives each week. This week's topic: mistakes that libras make in relationships.
“Why do people hate us?” This was a question I received recently from one of my Libra followers on Twitter, sparking a bit of a debate on the likable factor of one of the zodiac’s most charming signs. In fact, she goes on to add “LOL. I never knew people hated us until [Twitter].” Ah, leave it to social media to expose how people really feel. Apparently, Libra hate is a popular topic. But what gives? Is there any truth to it?
As an astrologer, I can tell you that every sign from Aries to Pisces, thinks they’re hated. That’s because when it all comes down to it, relationships are tough stuff. Managing a successful relationship often requires a meaty combo of patience, communication, and compassion. Not everyone is always up to the task. I mean, would it have been that hard for that last Libra I dated to tell me he had a wife and not one (like he said) but two kids? LOL. Seriously though, I know every Libra is not that guy (please don’t be that guy) but here’s a few relationship mistakes that every Libra should avoid to keep the scales forever tipped in their favor.
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1. Saying Yes When You Mean No
Blessed with the ability to see the other side of an argument and knowing just what to say to smooth things over, Libras are natural born diplomats. However, as a sign whose least favorite thing to do is to argue (see Aries for that), your smiles can quickly turn into frowns when you fail to express your true feelings about a matter. Instead, when you’re feeling the pressure to avoid conflict in an attempt to keep everyone happy, put your negotiating skills to work and let your partner know where you stand. Even if speaking up for yourself initially feels uncomfortable, you’ll be reminding yourself (and your mate) you’re nobody’s doormat.
2. Buying Love And Affection
J. Lo was really on to something when she sang in cornrowed realness that “Love Don’t Cost A Thing.” It doesn’t. It shouldn’t. Yet with Libra’s biggest challenge (and reward) being mutually beneficial relationships, the Libra need to be valued, respected, and seen as an equal can make them prone to overly seeking the approval of others. This can translate into attempts at buying the affections or loyalty of a partner through lavish gifts and favors. While thoughtful gestures can be a hallmark of a sweet romance, overdoing it can leave you vulnerable to people who’ll only use you for what they can get. If you find yourself bending over backwards to get into someone else’s good graces, stop for a moment and consider why their approval of you is so necessary. Usually you’ll find that it isn’t.
3. You Overthink Things
Many Libras are motivated to bring a sense of harmony and balance to everything they do. As a result, this can make for some rather long and drawn out decision making. Libras want to make sure that anything they invest their time in, fits their high ideals (i.e. champagne wishes and caviar dreams.) Even the most epic of Libra romances have suffered because a Libra waited too long to make up their mind about their beloved. However, all is not lost. Welcome a bit of risk-taking and instead engage your notably curious mind to explore, learn, and try something new. Reevaluating your dating standards can also help.
4. It’s Too Hard For You To Be Single
Let’s face it, romance can be addictive—especially for a sign ruled by Venus, the Roman Goddess of Love. But when it becomes so addictive that you have a hard time functioning as a whole and complete individual whether you’re in a relationship or not, then you’ve stepped into the role of a Needy Nancy. Speaking from experience, I can tell you it’s not a role you want to take on. You want to know why? Because being a Needy Nancy will have you dating a serial cheater and convincing yourself that it’s love. It’s desperate and shows a major lack of self-confidence; which is so un-Venus like. If you find yourself rushing into a relationship that demeans or devalues you, honor your badass instead.
5. Dating Has Become A Little Too…Shallow Hal
Yes, dear Libra even you, as sweet and as gracious as you are, can sometimes fall victim to your own hype. This means making the mistake of basing your self-worth on external attributes or possessions, believing that a partner should be happy with you just because you’re pretty, affluent, etc. While these things are by no means bad, they shouldn’t absolve you from doing the work it takes to become a good person and a partner.
Nor should looks and material worth prevent you from seeing that the super cutie you keep falling for is nothing more than a narcissist. Before you lose your cool over the next hot body that crosses your path, take a minute to assess their non-physical qualities. If you find them lacking, write down what you do want, then hold yourself (and anyone else) to that standard.
6. Heavy Flirting Outside of A Committed Relationship
Put any Libra alone in a crowded room and they will not only have made a friend of everyone, they will probably will have found their next romance too. How could this go wrong? When a Libra engages their super-powered flirting to boost their ego at the expense of a committed partnership. Rather than engage in a conflict or break things off with their significant other, they resort to heavy flirting or emotional cheating. So as a Libra, how can you avoid this? Communicate with your loved one, recognize when it’s time to end a relationship, and when necessary do something healthy/nice for yourself as a confidence booster.
7. Being Too Judgy
Libras hold themselves to a rather high standard and believe that others should too, especially when it comes to someone they’re interested in. When this doesn’t happen Libras can be all too ready to dole out advice in an effort to help correct the issue. I had a Libra boss who once gave all of us on staff copies of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People as holiday gifts. Can you guess if these gifts were well received? Unfortunately, this habit of giving unsolicited advice has earned Libra an unflattering reputation as being bossy, critical, and pretentious. Ouch. Though in Libra’s defense the intent is often well-meaning. However, the next time you’re tempted to find fault with someone you’re dating or who would otherwise be a good match, think about the gifts and unique perspective this person brings to the table; then make these your focus.
8. Being Unable To Keep Your Word
Have you ever made plans with someone and forgot all about them? Or have you ever promised your partner you would do something only for them to be pissed at you because what you said you would do wasn’t? For many a Libra the desire to always look good in the eyes of others can make them prone to consistently promising things they either cannot or don’t want to deliver. As a Libra, your inclination towards cooperation is often genuine but when you fail to honor your word it doesn’t seem like it. Instead of rushing to agree to someone’s request or offering up help, think about 1) whether you are in a position to follow through on it and 2) if it’s something you really want to do.
9. You Have Trouble Establishing a Healthy Routine
Libra is an Air sign, which means that they often need a bevy of projects, interests, and passions to keep them stimulated. The danger of this though, is taking on too many interests and projects that either never get completed or fall totally by the wayside. If you’re dating someone who values preparedness, structure, and long term planning this can be frustrating for the two of you. However, as your mission is to maintain balance in and out of a relationship, you can keep your equilibrium by better prioritizing your day to day. Getting things done in smaller increments, saying no to time-wasters, and keeping a schedule are ways to help you become more grounded and reliable. If all else fails, you can always go to a Capricorn for help!
10. Emotions Make You Crazy
Libras pride themselves on their sharp intellect and logic. These traits allow for them to keep cool heads in the midst of a chaotic situation while everyone else hits a meltdown. This approach is great in the boardroom. In the bedroom though, not so much. Keep in mind though, there are people who appreciate, and even prefer an even-tempered lover—and that’s great. Yet if you’re a more sensitive sign like a Pisces or a Scorpio, a Libra’s rational approach to more “messy” emotions like sadness or anger can be off-putting. Still, dear Libra, this doesn’t mean you should stew in someone else’s negative emotions, it just means not every emotion can be analyzed or rationalized away. Sometimes all a person needs is for you to do is to simply listen.