The Warning Signs For Kirk & Carly's Breakup On 'Bachelor In Paradise' Were Small, But Present
Many of us thought they would be endgame — so it came as a shock when Kirk and Carly broke up on Bachelor in Paradise tonight. It was especially heartbreaking because Carly was so blissfully unaware throughout the episode. She described herself as "the luckiest girl in the world" and expressed that fate brought them together. The only concern she voiced when speaking with the other women was that he hadn't shown his vulnerable side to her. Meanwhile, Kirk expressed that for the past week he'd just been "going through the motions" and that he felt alone even when they were together. During their overnight date, Carly had apparently talked extensively about the future and wanting to have his kids, which made Kirk seriously nervous and led him to realize that he needed to break this off. But should we have seen the warning signs for Kirk and Carly's breakup sooner?
When Kirk broke the devastating news to Carly, he told her he had come to Paradise expecting it to be like "summer camp" — which indicates that he came for a good time rather than to find lasting romance. This is super unfair to Carly, who genuinely wanted to find love and even missed her own brother's wedding because this was so important to her. This couple has been drama-free (and therefore often in the background) throughout the season, so it's hard to think of any warning signs we should have seen.
However, when I look back to the first date, there were a few red flags.
1. Kirk was hesitant to dive into a serious relationship right away, but I gave him props at the time for being honest with Carly and telling her that he usually takes a long time to officially declare himself "in a relationship."
2. He also said that his original intention was to befriend everyone, then figure out if anyone was his soulmate.
Still, after those tiny moments, Kirk seemed to have a change of heart and he told producers he wanted to ignore his fears. This all seemed fair enough — after all, people often find love when they're not looking for or expecting it. We'd be forgiven for being as blindsided as Carly was.
I do, however, believe that Kirk genuinely cares about Carly and thinks she's an amazing person, but the fact that he's had misgivings for an entire week and said nothing is so cowardly — especially considering that she was clearly on cloud nine because she believed she'd found "the one." And some of his phrasing during their breakup does indicate that they haven't been on the same page for a while, but that he's failed to speak up. And when he told her "We've had a really good thing," it seemed to indicate that he may have viewed their relationship as a short-term "good time" rather than true love for a while. Perhaps he recognized that Carly is a great catch and tried to force himself to be on the same page as her, but if he spent the past week or more lying to himself, then he lied to Carly by extension — and when it comes down to it, Carly simply didn't deserve that.