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Obama Set The Standard For Eating A Bear's Salmon
President Barack Obama just got un-bear-ably badass. Obama joined Bear Grylls on Running Wild with Bear Grylls, and he did something, yet again, that no president has ever done before. Grylls, who is famous for making his guests eat strange, utterly disgusting, or unrecognizable foods from the wild on his show, decided to make Obama live up to his joke that he's a "loose bear" whenever he leaves the White House. Obama ate a bear's leftover salmon after Grylls found the remains of the fish on the side of a river. He dealt with the whole incident really well, even though he said Grylls is a "mediocre cook," according to a clip of the upcoming episode. How would other politicians react in the same situation? Well, they certainly wouldn't make it look as easy or cool, that's for sure.
In the clip, Obama seemed anxious about just what Grylls might serve him for lunch. "I've seen some of the things Bear eats," Obama says. "It's gotta be something that doesn't still have its legs and eyes on it. I want it not to be too recognizable." Grylls then opens his backpack and starts pulling out huge chunks of moss. He says Alaska is a land of "bear and salmon," but they haven't got any bear to eat. He moves the moss out of the way to reveal a salmon that appears to have a piece missing from it already. "Don't freak out too much, but this is half eaten by a bear," Grylls tells the president.
Obama doesn't get uncomfortable, though. Instead, he says, "Now, why wouldn't the bear finish this sucker? It looks like a nice piece of fish." Grylls explains that bears will often eat the high-fat parts of the fish — the skin, the eggs, and the brain — while leaving the rest behind. They grill up what the bear left on the side of the river, and Obama says, "It would've been nice if we had had a cracker to go with it." Obama's relaxed and awesome response would probably be unique among politicians, though. Here's how other politicians probably would've responded to the nontraditional meal.
Scott Walker Would Fight And Win For America
One of Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker's favorite phrases to use in connection to his presidential campaign is how he will "fight and win" for America. He used the words "fight" and "fighting" 13 times during his presidential campaign announcement. He has repeatedly said that we need someone who will fight for the American dream, and obviously that American dream includes eating a bear's leftover salmon in Alaska.
Sure, he doesn't know anything about foreign policy, but bears and America are something Walker knows well. He probably would've dove into the raw fish mouth first and waved it around by the tail while declaring that this is the essence of playing "by the rules" for American success. Bear's leftovers + Walker + Alaska = Winning. #Merica.
Donald Trump Would Have Eat That Fish To Make America Great
Obviously it wouldn't compare to the salmon that some of his million-dollar hotels can make, but that doesn't mean Trump wouldn't take one for the team and eat the bear's leftovers. I mean, America needs someone who isn't afraid to eat the fish on the side of the river while deporting millions of undocumented immigrants. Honestly, Trump could hire someone to eat the fish because he is, like, really rich. But he will do it anyways, because becoming president is about making the hard choices and eating American fishes. Wait, this fish is American, right? Do fish have birth certificates? Could it have swum down from Canadian waters? Someone get me that salmon's birth certificate!
John Boehner Would Wrinkle His Nose
"Are you sure the president did this?" Boehner, speaker of the House, would ask. "Well, I bet former President George Bush definitely would've done it then." And then, the nose wrinkle would happen:
Sarah Palin Would Brag That She's Done This Before
The former governor of Alaska who is vying for a position in Trump's would-be cabinet as energy secretary has bragged before that she knows a lot about Alaska. She once said that caribou populations, which scientists say could be threatened by an oil pipeline in Alaska, would actually mate under such a pipeline. "I haven't actually seen it," Palin said, according to The Dodo, but it's only logical that it happens, right? And Palin's from Alaska, so she knows. She would have taken the fish right out of Grylls' hands and tried to cook it herself.
Watch the amazing video of Obama's feast with Grylls below.
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