Why You Shouldn't Be Upset If Your Partner Masturbates While You're In A Relationship

Here’s the deal: Everybody masturbates. Every. Body. Even while there are some who swear up and down that they don’t, never have, and will never, have probably, at least once, double clicked their mouse. How could they not? It’s easy, it feels good, and it’s healthy. Unfortunately, there are still some stigmas attached to masturbation, especially for women. Another archaic stigma has to do with masturbation and relationship status. So many people think that masturbation is for lonely, single. Again, this couldn’t even further from the truth. Studies have shown that those who are getting it more, are masturbating more, because sex is just on the brain like that.

Still, while we have these facts to back things up, I have more than a few friends who, upon finding out their partner was masturbating, got a little pissy about it. Their thinking was, “Why would they masturbate if they have me?” To which I’ve always been forced to ask them, “Well, why do YOU masturbate if you have them?” Of course the answers vary, but what it all comes down to is that on one, ever, should be getting pissed off if they’re partner is masturbating. If anything, they should be happy to be with someone who knows how to get themselves off, especially when you’re just not in the mood.

But whether or not you’re in the mood, there are other reasons why you should never get upset that your partner likes to masturbate and is doing so while in a relationship with you. Here are seven reasons why you should let them enjoy their solo sexy times.

1. It Has So Many Health Benefits

Masturbation is really healthy. Masturbation has been linked to improved heart health, lower anxiety, reduced risk of type-2 diabetes, and in men can help prevent cancer ― the more a man ejaculates, the lower his risk of prostate cancer. Also, from a mental standpoint, it just makes people happier. I imagine you want your partner to be as happy a possible, so if masturbation gives them that, then why be upset about it?

2. Sometimes It’s Not Even About Sex

Sometimes, I masturbate when I’m bored or can’t sleep. It’s not even about sex at that point, it’s just a matter of, well, filling up time, I guess. If my partner isn’t around, and I feel like getting off just because I can, I should be able to do that without my partner freaking out. We all have different things we do to pass the time, and for some of us it’s masturbation. Masturbation is also an amazing natural sleep aid.

3. It’s A Great Stress Reliever

Nothing kicks stress in the ass quite like having an orgasm. Whether that orgasm comes from sex or masturbation, it really helps in relaxing anyone who’s had a long day. There’s no argument there.

But sometimes when you’re really stressed out, you don’t want to have sex, because you know your mind will be someplace else and that’s not fair to your partner. In those cases, masturbation is a better choice. I’m sure we can all agree that we’d rather have our partner masturbate than have sex with us and not be present in the moment.

4. It’s Really Good For Their Self-Awareness And Confidence

When we masturbate, we get closer to our bodies. We learn how our bodies work, what we like and don’t like, and actually gain a deeper appreciation for not just our body, but our mind. Masturbation creates confidence and self-awareness, in not just the bedroom, but in all aspects of our lives. A person who has a healthy relationship with themselves, has a healthy relationship with the people around them, too.

5. It’s Good For Your Relationship

So if your partner has a healthy relationship with themselves and the people around them, what does them mean for you? That they have a healthy relationship with you, too! This is most especially the case if you and your partner talk about your masturbation practices in a way that’s completely open, honest, and free of judgment. That’s the stuff that strengthens relationships and forms even tighter bonds.

6. It’s Good For Your Sex Life With Them

Masturbation makes you, your partner, and everyone who masturbates better at sex. In masturbation we learn, we explore, and keep our bodies healthy, which naturally leads to better sex with our partner.

7. It’s Not Hurting Anyone (Or Your Relationship)

If you still think that, besides these very valid points, that your partner’s masturbation is somehow upsetting to you, then you need to take a step back and ask yourself, “Why?” Masturbation never hurt anyone, well, as long as they didn’t masturbate with some dangerous object, and if it can only add to your relationship's intimacy and your sex life together, you really shouldn’t be pouting. If anything, you should step up your own masturbation game ― and right now is as good a time as any.

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