Before we start, I want to make something very clear: the Barden Bellas are beautiful goddesses and queens of the mashup. But, like any self-respecting Pitch Perfect fan, I was forced to come face to face with this one hard question: Is Das Sound Machine better than the Barden Bellas? In Pitch Perfect 2, there's no question that the Bellas have met their match in DSM, the professional German group that steals their spot on the United States tour and is their main competition in the Worlds competition. With its perfectly synchronized (and somewhat militaristic) dance moves, dazzling use of pyrotechnics and elaborately punishing insults, Das Sound Machine could have easily defeated the Barden Bellas at Worlds had it not been for the Bellas' originality.
Still, just like when the Clovers beat the Toros in Bring It On, it's worth wondering whether or not the Bellas really deserved to win over Das Sound Machine in the final competition. I mean, were they actually the better singers? The better performers? The best in the entire world? Maybe they were, but, for argument's sake, lets say they weren't. Let's propose a universe in which Das Sound Machine won Worlds. Here are the top five reasons why Das Sound Machine are better than the Barden Bellas, and could've made it all the way to World Champs.
Those Killer Dance Moves
There's no doubt that DSM's choreography is more complex than that of the Barden Bellas. Or, at the very least, is designed to look more challenging. This isn't surprising given the fact that DSM clearly has more members than the Bellas, and that they are, supposedly, professional a cappella singers, not college students who sing on the side.
Say what you will about Kommissar, played by Birgitte Hjort Sørensen, but her statuesque beauty and impressive command of the stage earn her the title of most intimidating a cappella rival ever. Plus, she speaks eight languages. Now that's impressive.
Pieter, Kommissar's right-hand man played by Youtube star Flula Borg, was a highlight of Pitch Perfect 2. The perfect over-the-top evil sidekick to Kommissar, Pieter wasn't afraid to go toe to toe with the Bellas' Fat Amy. He also had the fiercest comebacks.
Ooooh, fire! (That is all.)
Dat Beatboxer Though
Das Sound Machine's impressive beatboxer, known as 80Fitz (aka Andrew Fitzpatrick) wasn't quite a scene stealer — in other words, he didn't have many lines. But his insane talent stood out during every DSM performance. I hate to say it, but I'm pretty sure he'd beat Lily, the Bellas' beatboxer, in a battle any day of the week.
There's really nothing more to say, but...
It's pretty clear that, at the very least, Das Sound Machine deserves a re-match with the Barden Bellas, preferably one chronicled on film and made available to the public, like, say, in Pitch Perfect 3 ?
Images: Universal Pictures; Giphy (6)