For those of us who lack confidence sometimes, we often look to the self-assured people in our lives and wonder, "what on earth is their secret?" Habits of confident people never seem clear cut or easy to master. These "always on their game" people appear to be so happy and comfortable with themselves, and never let the little things ruin their day. Seriously, how do they do it?
These majestic, confident creatures give off such great vibes that they often seem like the most interesting, talented people ever. But the simple trick? You can gain confidence by appreciating yourself, even if it's just for the little things. You can appreciate your ability to run a marathon, put together perfect outfits, write solid blog posts, or be great at listening to your friends when they're in need. Whatever it is, there's something that makes you unique that you can stoke in order to foster some more confidence.
I understand, though, that that's often easier said than done, and definitely won't happen overnight — especially if you've been feeling badly about yourself for a while. So if you are hoping to boost your self-confidence, take a cue from those who already have it figured out. Here are some habits of those calm, collected, self-confident people that you so admire.
1. They Have Figured Out What They Like
Confident people know what they like, and they know because they have tried a lot of different things. New foods, new jobs, travel — each experience adds to their confidence repertoire. It's a sign of a confident person when you can ask them what they want to do and they can give a clear answer. This ability comes with experience, so make sure to expose yourself to lots of new things. Soon you'll realize what you like, and where you want to go in life, and then you can confidently head in those directions.
2. They Aren't Afraid To Voice Their Opinions
Those of us lacking in the confidence department are often quick to agree with others because we want to be liked. We think being likable is synonymous with being agreeable, but this isn't true. In fact, a confident person who stands by their opinion is incredibly likable. Remember that the next time you're feeling shy.
3. They Take Time To Be Alone, And Enjoy It
Confident people are totally cool with hanging out by themselves. They recognize that alone time is a chance to de-stress and re-charge, and therefore don't view it as lonely or pathetic. It's also a time when they can indulge in their hobbies and interests. People who have hobbies to fall back on are often confident, because they know they'll be OK even if no one else is around. So spend some time alone to figure out what it is you like to do. When you take part in things you enjoy, you're more likely to feel confident and complete as a person.
4. They Learn From Past Mistakes Instead Of Dwelling On Them
Those of us lacking self-confidence may lie awake at night rehashing everything we've ever done wrong with our lives — that thing we said at work, that horrible first date, the time we forgot our homework in 4th grade. All of these "mistakes" are swirling around in our minds, leaving us feeling ashamed and vulnerable.
The thing is that while everyone makes mistakes, not everyone is totally crushed by them. And this has everything to do with attitude. If you mess something up at work and start thinking you're the dumbest person who ever lived, then you're going to carry that mentality around with you for days (or weeks, or years). Confident people, on the other hand, will look at a mistake as a learning experience, and keep it mind to do better next time. Practice giving yourself a break the next time something goes wrong.
5. They Don't Always Feel Sorry For Themselves
Confident know when they should feel sorry for themselves, and when they shouldn't. If something goes wrong, they can externalize the issue instead of immediately blaming themselves. As a simple example, an unconfident person may be totally crushed if they are cut off in traffic. Their first thought may be that they are a horrible driver, they were in the wrong, and they deserved to be honked at. A confident person, in this same situation, won't make it about themselves. Instead, they may assume the other drive honked because they are in a hurry, and they'll leave it at that.
6. They Hang Out With Positive People
Confident people attract positivity to their lives. They are simply nice to be around because they give off relaxed, happy vibes, and therefore similar people want to be around them. But it doesn't always boil down to who they attract to their lives, but more to do with who they allow in their lives. People with low self-esteem often find themselves hanging around some real downers, and that's because they feel they don't deserve any better. If the people in your life are bringing you down, seek out some more positive friends. You'll find yourself absorbing some of their good energy, and you'll also find yourself wanting to improve
Confidence may seem like an elusive quality, but if you emulate those people in your life who exude it, you'll start to feel better about yourself in no time.
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