Well, here we are again friends. We find ourselves at the end of another year. This is about that time when everyone gets super nostalgic and reminiscent about the time that has passed and as a result, we feel compelled to thoroughly dissect the past 12 months. Luckily for those of us armed with a nostalgia scalpel, 2015 was seriously stacked with notable events to dive into. With such a daunting task at hand, what could possibly be a better method of summing up 2015 than to use quotes from The Bachelor ? The answer is: Nothing. Nothing is a better method than that.
When you take the time to look back at all of the year's shenanigans, it's actually pretty hard to believe that so much was jam packed into a 12 month span. Between the mystical powers of The Dress and nationwide legalization of same sex marriage, the headlines covered quite the spectrum. Although it is a pretty serious undertaking to cherry pick what events to cover here, I'll do my best to focus on the most compelling pieces of the past year. Fortunately, The Bachelor is always by our sides in times of intense reflection.
1. On "The Dress"
"I think I'm having a panic attack." — Kelsey Poe, Chris Soules' season.
Let's be real, that dress was the bane of everyone's existence. Relationships were probably ended, blood was possibly shed, and many panic attacks were maybe had. What I'm saying it that it got real, fast.
2. On Caitlyn Jenner
"And I saw her out of her shell. Completely out of her shell.” — Chris Soules.
It was great to see Jenner bravely come out as transgender and speak out for change in 2015. Here's to 2016 being even more accepting for all transgender people.
3. On Zayn Splitting From One Direction
"I know I'm usually very articulate and can like put words to a lot of what's going on, but holy sh*t! What just happened?" — Kelsey Poe.
Seriously. What happened? Is everyone over this? I don't think I'll ever be over this.
4. On Ariana Grande Licking Doughnuts Like An Animal
“I’m shaking, I wish everyone could feel my insides right now.” — Megan Bell, Chris Soules' season.
Megan really puts into words my fury at this. I mean, come on. So gross, so bratty, and so disrespectful of the people who make the doughnuts! I know you apologized, kinda, but I am still upset by your savagery against baked goods, Ariana.
5. On Donald Trump
“So you don’t want to eat octopus; that’s gonna be the first thing I’m gonna give you. You just made the worst mistake of your life.” — Juan Pablo Galavis
Basically, it seems like Donald Trump just made us all eat octopus all the time, the entire year. Unfortunately, we may be choking down even more octopus in 2016.
6. On The Hollywood Wage Gap
“I love that some people are upset about it, because obviously we’ve hit a chord and we’ve hit something personal in the people that are upset. It’s probably an issue that you have with yourself or you have with women.” — Chris Harrison.
Patricia Arquette addressed it on the Oscar stage while accepting her award and later in the year Jennifer Lawrence wrote a brilliant essay on the same subject entitled, "Why Do I Make Less Than My Male Co-Stars?" While the subject astoundingly still stirs up some backlash, it's amazing to see these powerful and respected women speaking out on the subject. Let's hope 2016 bring some real changes.
7. On Amy Schumer Taking Over The World
"That girl is floating on twinkle-toes. I think she might dream in cartoons. I'm just saying, I think it's possible."- Vienna Girardi, Jake Pavelka's season.
Amy Schumer pretty much owned the universe in 2015 and I wouldn't have it any other way. She wrote and starred in a hit movie, continued to kill it on Inside Amy Schumer and danced on a piano at a Billy Joel concert with her BFF Jennifer Lawrence. She could literally do no wrong in my eyes. Schumer 2016.
8. On Marriage Equality
"I'm so excited. Words can't describe how excited I am." — Nikki Ferrell, Juan Pablo Galavis' season.
Such a long time coming. Our country made a giant, awesome leap and anyone still in doubt should put their party pants on and join the defenders of love. We have cupcakes.