Whether you're searching for the best coffee shop in town or a tutorial on how to tie a tie, whenever you're confused about something, there's a good chance you'll turn to the power of the search bar to help solve your problems — and it's no different when it comes to dating. Because of that, Google shared the top-searched dating questions from 2014-2015 in the United States with Bustle.
A lot of us have questions about dating etiquette, who we're interested in, and finding love online. Sometimes we want an expert's advice to get us the best match (how to write a dating profile) and sometimes we just want to know if we're normal (how many dates before you become exclusive?). Some of these popular dating questions may make you relieved you're not alone in wondering these things, but they also reveal a lot about what it really means to date today.
With ghosting, flakiness and mixed signals all being (unfortunate) dating trends these days, it makes sense so many of us would want to know how to confirm dates and when we should DTR. And, with 40 percent of 18- to 34-year-olds having been "platonic friends first" before getting together with their current significant other, according to a 2015 Mic survey, "how to date your best friend" certainly makes sense as the top search.
So here are the top 10 most searched for dating questions from Google — and their answers.
1. How To Date Your Best Friend
There's just something about dating someone who knows you best that makes a relationship that much better. According to speaker, author, and dating consultant, Michelle Barnum Smith, in order to date your best friend while not killing the friendship, you must know your motives, be consistent, communicate, be careful about being physical, and just go for it. Don’t let the fear of ruining your friendship prevent you from finding happiness in a potential love affair. You got this.
2. How To Date Yourself
"Dating yourself is THE MOST important. If you can't enjoying being with yourself how can you expect anybody else to enjoy being with you?" Kelly Kitley, LCSW owner of Serendipitous Psychotherapy, LLC tells Bustle. "A woman is more attractive when she is solid in what she likes, believes in, and has developed core values. I highly encourage my clients to get comfortable in their own skin, take risks, and be vulnerable. Get dressed up and go to your favorite restaurant solo. It might feel funny at first but I guarantee you'll receive positive attention."
Don't feel like dining alone? "Yoga and a movie are great activities for self-care and relaxation," Kitley says. "Nothing better than people-watching in a coffee shop while journaling about what you are looking for in a partner. Plan a trip! The best medicine is to plan an excursion somewhere you've always wanted to visit. You won't have to compromise and can even choose all the activities."
3. How To Confirm A Date
Knowing whether your date is still on, where you're going, or what you're doing if you haven't touched based in a while can be a little nerve-wracking — especially when you're communicating via text. So what's the best way to go over details? "A phone call would be the best method. Especially for the first couple of dates. Not only because you are super excited about seeing and talking with that person, but to avoid any misunderstandings about time, who’s picking who up, location, etc.," Rosalinda Randall, civility and etiquette expert tells Bustle. "However, if that feels awkward to you (get over it!), you can use whatever method the person prefers. Just be sure to sound enthusiastic about it. Once you’ve established the details of the date, a quick text is fine. Include something like, 'It should be fun!' or 'It’ll be great to see you.' Something that makes that person equally eager to see you."
But what if you have to cancel? "Do not wait until the last minute (unless of course, it is an emergency)," Randall says. "This is totally rude and inconsiderate. Pick up the phone genuinely apologize; a text can send the message that the date was insignificant."
4. How To Go On A Date In The Kardashian Game
Yes, this is a real question! And if you're curious? According to Tom’s Guide, going on a date in the Kardashian game is pretty simple. In order to date anyone in the game, you must “flirt” with them. Choosing to “flirt” with them will then put them in your contact list. When you want to go on a date, go to a restaurant, club or bar. From there, tap on the pink “heart” icon, which will bring up all your contacts. When you select which contact you want to date, tap on the “Call” option. After the date begins, your partner will make a comment and you will be given a set of options, among them “Start Date.” From there, you can begin your date.
5. How To Ask Someone On A Date
Asking someone out may be scary, but you can only gain things from it. If they say, “Yes,” then you have a date. If they say, “No,” then you know it’s time to move on. You’ll never know if you don’t try. According to eHarmony, the best way to ask someone out is to keep things in perspective, as in, remember that you’re asking them out on a date, not lifelong commitment. Be specific, be flexible, and take a breather. Dating is supposed to be fun and casual.
6. How To Go On A Date
Dates should be fun, no pressure ways to get to know someone you are interested in. Matchmaker Shelby Kern of Modern Love Club told Bustle to wear something that makes you feel confident and comfortable and ask atypical questions to really bring out your date's personality, like their favorite childhood memory or an embarrassing moment. And if the date doesn't go well? Remember it's not a big deal. “There are ton of people in the world,” Kern says. “If one person doesn’t want to go on another date with you, then you’re just not compatible.”
7. How Many Dates Before You Become Exclusive
“Well, if it’s love at first sight for both parties, immediately. If you believe you’ve found your one and only, why would you be seeing other people?" Randall tells Bustle. "Depending on the type of dates, movie and dinner probably won’t give the couple the opportunity to get into in-depth topics. On the other hand, if they decide to book a 10-day trip to the Alaskan wilderness, that will certainly expose their best and worst, speeding up the getting-to-know-you process. Unless you are dating a person from a traditional background, whose parents still insist on meeting you and determining how the dating process will go, it is now left up to you and your love interest to decide who and when to proceed with your relationship."
8. How To Date A Shy Guy
"Gently and patiently indicate interest. Let him know through your relaxed body language that you like being around him, that there’s no pressure. You’re not waiting for him to fill every millisecond of silence with words. You’re cool just chilling out, and you like him!" Sarah Jones, founder of Introverted Alpha tells Bustle. "The way you express this is by getting a bit closer to him, being warm towards him gently. Introverts are more like cats and extroverts are more like dogs, if we can use that analogy. So show your date that you’re sweet and non-judgmental by being easygoing and relaxed and loving him up with a good compliment, a flirtatious glance, a light touch. Let him pick up over time that you’re into him. If being bolder is your style, that’s great too! Simply incorporate more gentleness and ease, and you’ll be better able to bring out the boldness in him."
9. How To Date A Mormon Girl
Joanna Brooks, author of the blog, "Ask Mormon Girl" wrote in a post:
"Know that most Mormon kids hold to strict rules of conduct, and they feel most comfortable around kids who do the same ... Mormon girl probably has very strong feelings about being Mormon, feelings she may not be confident she can fully explain. For being Mormon is more than a religion to her—it is a whole way of life: a culture, a family history, perhaps the most fundamental dimension of her being. She may be both eager to share her beliefs with you, and incredibly tender and protective, even defensive, about them, because non-Mormons have sometimes ridiculed Mormon people and our ways. I am confident that you, however, will be able to win her trust. Just listen when she talks. Make it easy for her to live her beliefs and keep her standards. And maybe if you two hit it off, you can bring her to this webpage, and show her that you once wrote a letter to a complete stranger just to find out how to treat a Mormon girl right. And that is enough to warm any Mormon girl’s heart."
10. How To Write A Dating Profile
According to The League’s CEO and founder, Amanda Bradford, the one way to make your dating profile stand out is to create a fun and quirky “About Me” section. If that means adding an emoji or two, don’t be afraid to do it. Also, be upfront with what you want. If you’re not looking for a good time only, state it plainly in your profile. At the same time, don’t include a checklist. A dating profile should be about YOU. Not what you’re looking for in the “ideal mate.”
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