The clitoris is amazing. And for some, clitoral stimulation is the secret to the female orgasm. Lots of women cannot orgasm through vaginal sex alone. And there's nothing wrong with that. At all. But as many heterosexual couples view penetrative sex as the ultimate act, after foreplay and the rest, there can be a lot of pressure to get off during that type of sex. So what can you do?
Well, firstly: any pressure to make you come in a certain way or in a certain amount of time is ridiculous and uncalled for. But if you, personally, are interested in exploring new ways to have sex that are more stimulating, a great way to do that is to try positions that incorporate your hands.
Because then it's the best of both worlds. You're having penetrative sex, but you have all of the clitoral stimulation that a lot of women need to orgasm. In fact, some women claim that the blended orgasm — that comes from a mixture of clitoral and G-spot stimulation — are the most powerful, and a great way to have one is by playing with your clitoris during penetrative sex. It can lead to something seriously, seriously, mind-blowing.
Here are seven positions that incorporate your hands, because more stimulation is better stimulation. Keep in mind, these positions work with two women as well:
How To Do It: You may need to lift one leg up and use lube, because it's a tight fit, but it's the same position that's great for cuddling, just sex-ed up.
What It's Great: It's really slow, and from that angle there's amazing G-spot stimulation. Your partner can use their hands on your breasts, like you see in the photo, or either of you can use your hands to play with your clit. Because it's a slow, stationary position, it's great if you need a bit of time or a really strong sensation to orgasm.
How To Do It: You're on all fours with your legs spread as wide or as narrowly as you need for him to fit between your legs and to match up correctly.
What It's Great: For your partner, it's a great view and it's a really sexy, carnal position. But as long as you can support yourself, you can take one hand to play with yourself. If you're struggling, drop down to one elbow for more stability and to still be able to reach your clit.
3. Girl On Top
How To Do It: You climb on top of your partner and guide their penis or a sex toy into you. If you lean back a bit and focus on grinding rather than thrusting your hands should be free while you balance. But if you need more stability, lean forward so their hands can still get involved.
What It's Great: Because you're in control and doing your thing, and the hands add a bit of a power play. Either, in addition to being on top, you can play with your clit and really be "all about me," Which is awesome, and a great view for your partner. Of your partner can join in with their hands to play with you, making it a more shared experience. Your call.
4. The Bridge
How To Do It: Start in missionary and after your partner leans back, you use your feet and hands to support while you lift up your hips. Then while you brace, they sit up on their knees, inside of you, while you hold the "bridge" position.
What It's Great: It's unusual and a fun challenge. Plus, they can alternate between using their hands to help hold you up and giving you some clitoral stimulation, so it's a good way to tease.
5. The Cross
How To Do It: OK, it's kind of annoying to get into. Your partner lies on their side and you lay perpendicular, and then sort of move your way down until you help guide them into you. Lube will be your friend.
What It's Great: You are both super relaxed — I mean, you're both getting to lie down, which is awesome. And because you're so relaxed and secure, either of you can use your hands to play with your clit.
6. Reverse Cowgirl
How To Do It: Just like girl on top, but you're facing your partner's feet instead. Be careful about leaning too far forward or too far back, because this is a position where a lot of penis-break related accidents happen. With great power comes great responsibility.
What It's Great: Remember what I said about girl on top and how it can be all about you? This position is just all about you. You're not looking at each other, so it's really animalistic and just about going for it. And your hands are free to roam wherever on you feels good. Super hot.
How To Do It: Great for lesbian couples, but also for anyone else. One of you lies back with you knees bent and your feet mostly flat, while the other moves between your knees and uses your fingers.
What It's Great: This one is all about the hands. Or the toys. Or whatever you like. You can easily move between fingering and licking (and penetration if it's a hetero couple). But if you're going to focus on hand play, really focus on it, this is the position to do it in.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions that help him last longer:
Images: Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle