I'm not going to sugarcoat it — I was pretty disappointed when I learned that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey wouldn't be hosting the 2016 Golden Globe Awards. (I mean when something is absolutely perfect, why change it?) When Ricky Gervais was announced as host, I figured we'd be in for a night of biting, controversial humor — especially after he told Ellen DeGeneres that he only agreed to host after producers gave him the green light to say whatever he wants. Gervais also noted that he planned to be quite intoxicated because, “[i]f I didn’t drink, I wouldn’t be brave enough to say some of the things I’m going to say,” which indicated that he'd pre-written plenty of zingers. But, as the 2016 best and worst Golden Globes jokes show, Gervais would have been wise to censor himself a bit. In fact, the evening's best jokes didn't even come from the host himself.
Gervais took full advantage of his pre-approved free reign and was absolutely merciless. Some of the attendees took it in stride, and others looked... less than pleased. And many viewers found a lot of it wildly offensive — overall, the consensus is that he went too far and the jokes weren't even that entertaining. The number of cringe-worthy jokes could mean that he really won't be invited back next year, and that would probably be a good thing. Luckily, some of the presenters were hilarious and the evening's laughs came freely, courtesy of those talented souls. (Bless their hearts for making this ceremony bearable.)
Eva Longoria & America Ferrera Joking About That Awkward Name Mix-Up
When Eva Longoria and America Ferrera took the stage as presenters, Longoria introduced herself by saying, "I'm Eva Longoria, not Eva Mendes" and Ferrera responded, "Hi, I'm America Ferrera not Gina Rodriguez." It was a hilarious way to poke fun at the Golden Globe Twitter account's recent snafu in which they incorrectly referred to Gina Rodriguez as America Ferrera.
"The only person Ben Affleck hasn't been unfaithful to"
OK, I have to hand it to Gervais on this one — it was pretty hilarious when he introduced Matt Damon as "the only person Ben Affleck hasn't been unfaithful to."
Amy Schumer & Jennifer Lawrence's Entire Presentation
Can these two please host the 2017 Golden Globes?
“To be honest, I was told I was presenting alone"
Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt were hilarious during this moment, even if it was all centered on a fake plot in which Gosling was angry that he didn't get to be the only handsome man on stage. He drove it home so far, that he even left Pitt out of the cast list when presenting their film The Big Short. It should have been awkward, but Gosling can get away with anything. (Don't worry, there were also plenty of genuine awkward moments throughout the show too.)
“Thank you for not taking my suggestion and ending the entire series on Chumbawamba"
The actor ended his speech for taking the Best Actor in a TV drama globe with the unforgettable quote. And now we know how Jon Hamm really wanted Mad Men to end.
"That award is — no offense — worthless. It's a bit of metal that some nice old confused journalists wanted to give you in person so they could meet you and have a selfie with you."
Gervais took one moment in his monologue to give some perspective to the stars who were about to receive awards from the journalist who cover their movies. Ricky's hosting job wasn't exactly the best, but sometimes, the truth hurts — and it's also really funny.
Mark Wahlberg's Reaction To Will Ferrell
When Wahlberg and Ferrell presented, the duo wore New Year's Eve 2016 glasses, which left Wahlberg practically blind when it came time to read the teleprompter, and gave Ferrell a chance to play dad to the chattering Globes crowd.
“Everyone down here,” said Ferrell pointing to the front, which he identified as the “movies” section of the room, “is totally listening, but you people are playing grab ass back there.”
We are all Mark Wahlberg in this moment.
Jim Carrey Putting It All In Perspective
"And when I dream I don't just dream any old dream. No sir. I dream about being three-time Golden Globe-winning actor Jim Carrey. Because then I would be enough. It would finally be true. And I could stop this terrible search for what I know ultimately won't fulfill me," said Carrey after he was introduced as, you guessed it, "two-time Golden Globe-winning actor Jim Carrey."
Props to Carrey for putting everything in perspective, in the most comedic way possible.
"I've changed. Not as much as Bruce Jenner, of course."
Transphobia is never funny. Ever. And Ricky Gervais should have known that before he told this joke in his monologue.
"Roman Polanski called [Spotlight] the best date movie ever."
When Gervais referenced Spotlight, a film about sexual abuse in the Catholic church, he made sure to throw in a tasteless joke about rape. Not cool.
"How the hell can a 25-year-old live on $52 million?"
Gervais missed the point in a huge way when he insulted Jennifer Lawrence for speaking up about the wage gap. Sexism isn't funny either, pal.
Jonah Hill & Channing Tatum's Strange, Strange Bear Skit
Jonah Hill in a bear hat aimed for funny and ended up being head-scratching. But, uh, points for not being wildly offensive like someone else in the room?
"A British actress taking Hollywood by storm"
Gervais introduced Eddie Redmayne in the most disrespectful and offensive way possible (he called Redmayne an actress as a way of poking fun at him for playing a trans woman in The Danish Girl.) Apparently Gervais didn't get the memo that this kind of humor in incredibly messed up.
Thank goodness for all the hilarious guests and presenters — they saved the ceremony from being a totally joyless occasion.
Images: Giphy (3)