The One Opening Message That Will Get You Ignored On OkCupid

When it comes to online dating, it’s all about getting writing an opening message that gets a response. As for what are going to be the winning words is probably up for debate, but OkCupid seems to have figured out what opening message is not working. And it’s not looking good for those of you who are people of very few words.

OkCupid’s The Hangover report delved into what 2015 had to offer in ways of communication, pop culture, and sex, of course. Among other things, it found that Bernie Sanders is a big hit with OkCupid members, Oregon is a hot bed of people looking for casual sex , and you really can’t go wrong with a smiley face emoji. It was also able to narrow down the states that are more progressive than the others, without too many surprises in that category, to be honest.

But coming back to communication, because that’s essential in even getting things started, what the report found was that attention to detail is key. You can’t just shoot from the hip with one word introductions or responses, and hope that the single word will speak for itself. It’s about making an effort, and for the love of everything holy, not pulling the cut-and-paste job with the same generic messages over and over to everyone on the site!

Picture this: You see a really interesting human being on OkCupid and want to reach out to them. So, in an effort to seem witty and cool, you scramble to figure out what’s going to get them to respond. Should you tell them about that time you met the Dalai Lama? Should you brag about your trust fund? Is it appropriate to make a mom joke? After examining all the possibilities, you decide to go with, “Hey.” Then you wonder, endlessly, what it was that made that oh-so interesting person never respond.

Well, here’s a little clue: No one likes a “hey.” In fact, 84 percent of the time, “hey” will be totally ignored. If you're "hey" is followed by "girl," and you're Ryan Gosling, then that changes things a bit, but because you probably aren't, you need to put in a bit more effort.

If you want to make the most of OkCupid, here’s what does work, because emotional emojis are seeing the highest reply rate.

1. Online Dating Leads To Sweating And That’s Totally Acceptable

The emoji that’s most likely to end in a response is the sweating one, because you know, online dating is a nervous, sweaty business. It has a 45 percent success rate, so go ahead and use that one as much as you see fit.

2. It’s OK To Express Your Stress

I swear I didn’t mean to rhyme there, but I digress.

In second spot for the most successful emojis when it comes to getting a response is the stressed emoji, or at least I think it’s stressed ― it seems to be wailing, and I know that’s what I do when I’m stressed. I think this one is probably a winner in some ways because we all know what stress is and it’s a relatable emotion.

3. You Snooze You Win

In third spot, surprisingly, is the sleeping emoji. The sleeping emoji, although often associated with expressing boredom has, for some reason, a 43.6 percent success rate when it comes to getting a response. However, I think that means after you’ve already started a dialogue. I think just randomly sending off sleeping emojis to people, as a means to start a conversation, might not go over well.

4. Bring On The Angry Face

The angry face has a 43 percent success rate. Who knew? Although why someone would be angry even before the relationship starts, is beyond me. But I guess sometimes you just can’t help but drop an angry little emoji to get the convo going.

5. People Want Your Tears

Maybe not as much as they want your sweat, but they're cool with you getting all emo on them apparently. The crying face emoji has a 42.5 percent success rate.

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