It's February! And that means shops around the world have started to gear up for that most controversial of holidays: Valentine's Day. Ah, a holiday where smooches, disgustingly cute slogan bears, and scratchy lingerie are explicitly the orders of the day. My own feelings towards Valentine's Day veer from "can't be bothered" to "feminist outrage," depending on the amount of grotesque gender roles I encounter at any one time. Mention "women are so emotional" or "guys need Valentine's Day because they're hopeless the rest of the time" and I'm likely to start going cross-eyed. It can be hard being a feminist around Valentine's Day.
But feminists love people too! And have sex with them, and marry them, and send them flirty messages, and generally like showing and receiving love as much as everybody else. (Duh.) So how can you inject your showers of romantic feeling towards your beau/bedroom buddy/current paramour with appropriate feminist feeling? There's a card for that. Or many, as it happens.
If you have a relationship that's filled with feminist flavor, want to confess your love to a person of feminist persuasions, or just generally like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, this is the card collection for you.
1. "Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...", FemBot
Not gonna lie, I would absolutely adore to get this little number from a sweetheart. What's more heart-eyes inducing than a little light patriarchy-smashing of an evening? Get it here for free.
2. "Best Of Luck", SomECards
Sometimes you just need somebody who acknowledges the ideological clashes and difficulties in everyday life. This card will probably turn up from them. Snarky but loving. Get it here for free.
3. "You Make Me Smile", BUST
This glorious special is part of BUST magazine's feminist Valentine's range, also featuring "This Is What A Feminist In Love Looks Like" and "Be Mine, Or Not, Be Your Own Person, I Value Our Independence In Our Consensual Relationship." Seriously, swoon. Get it here for free.
4. "You Poetic & Noble Land Mermaid", Etsy
Sometimes people just need to be Knoped. By which I mean, of course, Leslie Knoped. What better way is there to express love than a quote from the feminist queen of Pawnee for her life-mate Anne? Get it here for $3.95.
5. "Will You Be My Player 2?", Feminist Apparel
Are you a geek girl? Congratulations! Despite the many men doubting that you do in fact enjoy gaming/comic books/other "male geek" pursuits, you're kicking ass, and you've found somebody to do it with you. Give 'em this card, and watch them melt and boot up their console. Get it here for $7.95.
6. "Cuterus", RedBubble
Who's the cutest? Your uterus! If you want to say it with intensely charming female reproductive organs instead of flowers, this is totally for you. Get it here for $1.80.
7. "Flowers And Red Cons", RedBubble
Everybody knows feminists don't shave their legs. I'm kidding, but if you do know somebody special with a penchant for leg hair and an exceptionally cute face you'd quite like to smooch, this may be the "I validate your choices for your body" way to their heart. Get it here for $2.04.
8. "If You Wanna Be My Lover", RedBubble
Got a person you'd quite like to be your Valentine, but want to make it clear they have a few criteria they need to meet before they can get into your mind and your trousers? Consider them (cutely) forewarned. Get it here for $1.86.
9. "Women Of History", Passive Juice Motel
This series is so rad, you may have to get a series of Valentines just to give them all a chance to experience their wonder. We've got Amelia Earhart telling your crush they're "super fly," Malala Yousafzai noting that she'd "stand for you," and Sally Ride saying they're "out of this world". Can it get any cooler? (Answer: no.) Get them here for $5.00.
10. "Well, Don't You Just Look Riveting!", Meng Shui Design
This selection of Valentines cards was commissioned in 2015 by THINX, the underwear brand designed for women with periods. Luckily, they're still just as applicable this year. From Rosie the Riveter to Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the amazing phrase, "Chimamandangerously In Love With You," they're going to make any feminist melt down to their toes. They're not available for sale, but you can check them out at the original designer's website here.