Even the most confident among us need a self esteem boost every once in a while. And we're not all Kim Kardashian — we don't all have the outlet of posting perfect nude selfies to Instagram in a show of total empowerment. But we can stand in front of the mirror, look ourselves in the eye, and tell ourselves nice things about our hair, our sense of humor, and how really smart and nice and wonderful we are underneath this zit, that fly away, or that work error that's made us feel so-so for the past week. Improving your self esteem isn't up to anyone else but you. Which is why we need to take it upon ourselves to give our self confidence a kick in the pants when it's lagging.
What are exactly the secret words to whisper to yourself when you're feeling down? There's no exact formula of mantras that will suit everyone, but there are certain things you can focus on in order to improve your self esteem. The things we don't like about ourselves, while based on our own perceptions, are still pretty universal from person to person (in that everyone feels generally the same bad things about themselves, not about each other). So here are some things you can tell yourself to increase your self esteem:
1. That You Are Beautiful
Unfortunately, a lot of our self esteem is pent up in our looks. While looks don't define our worth, it's still important to tell yourself you feel beautiful when you don't, because the less you worry about how you look, the more energy you can put into other things. So tell you're self you're beautiful no matter what.
2. That Instagram Pictures Mean Nothing
With so much social media and people promoting their "perfect" lives online, it can be easy to get down on yourself by comparing yourself to what you see posted on sites like Instagram. Remind yourself that means shit. That what means something is how you're living in the here and now. Anyone can take a perfectly posed and filtered photo to make their life look like a dream, but what matters is how you're actually living yours.
3. That You're An Individual
While we're on the topic of comparing yourself to other people, remember that yes, you are different to others. And that's a good thing. If we were all cookie-cutters of one another, how interesting would the world be then? Celebrate your individuality, and remind yourself that being unique is wonderful. Just because you don't have something someone else has, it doesn't mean you don't have something very special all of your own.
4. That You've Got What You've Got For A Reason
Your apartment, your friends, your relationship, your job: stop acting like you don't "deserve it". Tell yourself that everything you have, you have for a reason. Whether it's hard work, or because you are a kind, generous, deserving person, everything in your life is yours because in some way or an other, you earned it. Don't discredit that.
5. That You Decide What's Good Enough For You
Tell yourself that you're the only one that gets to judge you. When you're feeling down about something you've said or done, remember that no one else is the arbiter of what's right for you. Don't look externally for approval. You're the only one you need to impress. And you should go a bit easier on yourself because of it.
6. That There Are Always Second Chances
If you're feeling particularly crummy, remember that tomorrow's another day. Give yourself a chance to breathe, and tell yourself that you can start again tomorrow. Life is full of second chances, and you have to keep reminding yourself of that so you can dust yourself off and try again.
7. That There Are People Who Love You
If other people love you, why don't you love you? Tell yourself that you're loved and use that as impetus to love yourself. Of course, other people's approval isn't the sole reason you should have high self esteem, but if you remind yourself that other people love you, you can pin point the things that make you lovable, and learn to love them too.
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