13 Kentucky Derby Horse Name Ideas Based On The Best Celebrity Monikers Out There

With big hats and extravagant parties, the Kentucky Derby is a major social event. But don't get too sidetracked by the festivities that you forget the main reason people come together: the horse-racing. Some people enjoy placing bets, but I'd much rather focus on their names. Did you know that horse names can only be 18 characters long? That's way more restrictive than a single tweet. According to Mental Floss, it's also a rule that horses cannot be named after living people, "unless written permission to use their name is on file with The Jockey Club." This is unfortunate, since if I had a horse, I'd totally want to name it after my favorite celebrities. Wouldn't you cheer for a horse named The Biebz?

Luckily, since horse namers can be incredibly witty, they sometimes find ways around the regulations. In 2005, there was a horse named Brangelina, according to Bleacher Report. Since it's Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's portmanteau, that's certainly a loophole in the naming rule. Or a much better alternative would be if famous people gave permission for their names to be used. Honestly, I think some celebrity monikers would double as excellent horse names. Wouldn't it be an honor to have a four-legged creature racing on their behalf? It's an accomplishment almost as noble as winning that Oscar or Grammy, right? (OK, maybe not quite. But let's pretend anyway.)

Here's a round-up of celebrities that could (and should) inspire the best Kentucky Derby horses names.

1. Blue Ivy

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Considering she's just a toddler, I'm unsure if Blue Ivy could sign off to have a horse named after her. But wouldn't Beyoncé and Jay Z's daughter's name be pretty fierce for a race horse?

2. Cumberbatch

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Unfortunately, his name is too long to meet the 18-character limit. Still, I'd root for a Benedict Cumberbatch inspired horse.

3. Kimye


Because the "world's most talked about couple" could lead to the world's most talked about horse. Plus, I bet Kim Kardashian would take a Kentucky Derby selfie with her horse namesake and she'd break the Internet all over again.

4. Donald Drumpf

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Last Week Tonight host John Oliver made a campaign to "Make Donald Drumpf Again," spoofing Donald Trump's ancestors' original surname. I wouldn't want to give Trump the privilege of a horse named after him, but "Drumpf" is pretty fun to say.

5. Witherspoon

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Wouldn't Reese Witherspoon's last name make for a pretty sweet horse name? I'd have to say yes.

6. Beyoncé

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As Beyoncé sings in "Freedom," "A winner don't quit on themselves." That could be this horse's motto. It would be guaranteed to win big.

7. Gordon-Levitt

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JGL's name is a little too long to work, but maybe just his first initial could be thrown in front, so the horse would be named J Gordon-Levitt.

8. Chris Kirkpatrick

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Compared to his fellow bandmates, I feel like Chris Kirkpatrick doesn't get as much acknowledgment as he should. A horse name would totally change that.

9. ChampagnePapi

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Instead of just naming the horse Drake, let's go with the singer's Instagram handle. I wonder if throwing in the "@" symbol is allowed. If so, I'd tack it on front.

10. T. Swizzle

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This nickname is one that Taylor Swift has even used for herself, so why not use it on a horse?

11. Aziz Ansari

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Since Aziz Ansari's show Master of None includes animal-related quirks, like a turtle in a briefcase, I feel like he'd appreciate a horse being named on his behalf.

12. Mason Disick

I'd be lying if I said Mason wasn't one of my favorite members of the Kardashian-Jenner crew. Plus, he has such a strong-sounding name.

13. Teigen-Legend

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Alternative option: "ChrissyNJohn." A name that encompasses power couple John Legend and Chrissy Teigen would be pretty epic.

If any horse namers need further inspiration, they should totally hit me up. I could keep going on and on with the perfect celeb-inspired derby names.

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