Here’s How Patriotic America Gets With Their Porn On The Fourth Of July

Now that the Fourth of July is over and we’ve recovered from our Budweiser hangovers and potato salad overdoses, it’s time to focus on important stuff: Pornhub’s Patriotic Porn insights. Because, if there’s anything to be learned from other holidays, it’s that holidays influence porn searches in ways that truly boggle the mind. Who can forget that “anal Easter bunny” was a big search term during last Easter? I certainly can't.

In this edition of holiday-related porn statistics, Pornhub examined the searches and online activity of Americans on July Fourth and Canadians on Canada Day, (which happens to be on July 1, in case you weren’t aware). What Pornhub found was that when it comes to porn and patriotism, the United States of America beats out Canada. While searches for things like “Canada” or “Canadians” increased by 95 percent on Canada Day, three days later, on July 4, Americans surpassed that with a 98 percent increase in their brand of patriotic searches. Honestly, what’s more American than searching “stars and stripes” in Pornhub on Independence Day? I’ll tell you: NOTHING. Throw a couple hot dogs into the scenario and you’ve got yourself one hell of a patriotic party.

If you typed “MILFS and fireworks,” into Pornhub on Fourth of July, you probably weren’t alone. Here are seven other stats from Pornhub’s Patriotic Porn insights.

1. Pornhub Traffic Dropped On July 4

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Although searches for American-themed porn surged on the Fourth, the actual traffic dropped by 13 percent. Which is probably a good thing; you know those beers can’t drink themselves. In contrast, traffic only dropped by six percent in Canada, so I guess maybe they’re more dedicated to their porn intake than we are.

2. People In Vermont Were Too Busy Celebrating To Watch Porn

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While the overall drop in porn traffic was 13 percent, the state that had the highest drop was Vermont. With a 26 percent drop in traffic, it seems that people in Vermont were too busy waving the good ole red, white, and blue around town to care about porn that day.

3. Virginia Didn’t Let July 4 Get In the Way Of Their Dedication To Porn

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Several states to the south from Vermont, things were a bit different. Of the 50 states, Virginia had the least amount of a drop in porn traffic, at only two percent. Go Virginia, you porn lovin’ state, you!

4. ‘July 4th’ Was Searched The Most

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While I’m sad to report “July 4th anal” wasn't in the top searches on Independence Day, “July 4th,” with a 58,975 percent increase was at the top of the holiday searches. Rounding out the top five searches were “4 of July,” “fourth of July,” “4th of July,” and “4th of July orgy.” Definitely a lot of creativity in there.

5. Canadians Are More Detailed In Their Searches Than Americans

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While July 4 was searched in every possible way it could be without any other details attached to it (except for “4th of July sex" later on the list), Canadians were more specific in their porn. Outside of the top three searches which included the words “Canada” and “Day,” the other searches that followed were “Canadian babe,” “Canadian girl,” “Canadian teen,” “Canadian milf,” and so on down the list. I guess Canadians have a better idea of what they want than Americans, and go for it.

6. Americans Want Some Food With Their Porn Searches

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Amongst all the searches that Americans made on July 4, the term “BBQ” got a 396 percent increase than it normally would. Which, honestly, makes this American very proud, because who doesn’t want some BBQ with their sex?

7. ‘Merica’ Was Actually Searched On July 4

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You know whenever something very American happens, we all breath a collective, “’Merica?” Yeah, well that affectionate nickname spilled over into porn searches on Independence Day, too. While it didn’t get as much attention as “July 4th” or as little attention as “BBQ,” with a 1,801 increase in searches, “Merica” is what many Americans turned to this past Monday. Why? Because ‘Merica, of course.

Images: Fotolia; Giphy (7)