There were a lot of very specific ways to tick off a '90s kid. One of my most familiar memories was losing power during a thunderstorm and being absolutely beside myself over missing the Nickelodeon marathon. (My life was so hard.) Looking back on it today, the things that ruined your childhood in the '90s are actually comical, of course; it kind of makes you long for the days when "the end of the world" meant busted toys and running out of your favorite Little Debbie snack. Today, I just want to make it through tax season unscathed.
In all honesty, chances are most of us really didn't have it that bad. We were fed, clothed, and given lots of love by our parents (except for that time I laughed so hard I peed my pants — I don't think my mom was my biggest fan that day). I had every toy a girl could want. One day, my mom even surprised me at school with a Susie Stretch — which I had to have after playing with a friend's. (BTW, in retrospect, this might be the most terrifying toy I've ever seen.)
Regardless, as children, we were horribly dramatic, very over-the-top, and even the most minor of glitches made us feel like our lives were crumbling. I certainly remember thinking these things were ruining my childhood.
(P.S. I'm just going to leave this here.)
1. When Your Sister Stole All The Marshmallows From The Box Of Lucky Charms
So to get back at her, you stuck Bubble Tape in her hair. It's a dog eat dog world, sis. Sleep with one eye open.
2. When You Ran Out Of Frosting For Your Dunkaroos
Self-control — not your strong suit.
3. When The VCR Ruined Your VHS
Life isn't always fair.
4. When Your FruitStripe Tattoo Wore Off
Now everyone's going to know it's a fake...
5. When The Dial-Up Wouldn't Connect
Great. Now how are you going to hang out with all your friends in the chat room?
6. When They Gave You The Wrong Toy In Your Happy Meal
I said I wanted the Flounder toy — not Ariel. I already have Ariel. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.
7. When Scratch And Sniff Stickers Stopped Smelling Magical
8. When Someone Stretched Out Your Tattoo Choker And It Never Went Back To Its Original Size
I'm not sure what I did to deserve this.
9. When The Ring From Your Hard Candy Nail Polish Didn't Fit
Jeez. What's the point in even having nail polish if the stupid ring doesn't fit?
10. When You Got Too Big To Fit In Your Power Wheels
You'd try to squeeze your butt in it anyway and get stuck.
11. When Your Slinky Got All Weird
As soon as it got one kink in it, just one, the whole thing was ruined.
12. When Your Butterfly Hair Clip Snapped In Two
You had about 200 of them, but that one was totally your favorite.
13. When Your Milky Pen Ran Out
So your teacher suggested you write with a No. 2 pencil, and... I can't... I just can't.
This is why we can't have nice things.
15. When Your Juice Box Sprayed All Over You
You tried to cover up the smell with your cucumber melon spray from Bath and Body Works, but it was no use.
16. When Britney And Justin Split Up
I know it was the early 2000s, but I'm still trying to get over it, OK?
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