Although the release of oxytocin during sex can increase our tolerance for gross things, sometimes even all the oxytocin in the world can't cancel out the stink of an accidental fart that either you or your partner let rip. Sure, it’s embarrassing, horrifying, and gross AF, but it’s also something that most of us have experienced. It's normal. And even if you haven’t — yet — there's a good chance you will. Someday. But the problem with the gross things that happen during sex, is that it’s a small price to pay. Sex, in all its grossness and awkwardness, is a really good time. (Which I'm assuming you already know.) So to not suck it up and get over the possibility of an “ew” moment during sex is just silly.
While men and women have their own brand of “gross” things that come with the territory of their sex, as a whole, no one gets out of a sex sesh without something happening that’s enough to make someone cringe a wee bit. But, like I said, while maybe you’ve been lucky to escape these things so far in your sex life, eventually luck runs out. Here are nine gross things we all experience during sex.
1. Mystery ‘Things’ In Or Around The Genitals
Why, yes, that is a small chunk of toilet paper that you have discovered in the folds of my vagina and, yes, I’m just as grossed out as you, but what the hell am I supposed to do about it now? It happens! It’s pretty damn nasty, but sometimes things get stuck in places you wish they never would, then they’re discovered by someone, and there’s that momentary inner monologue of, “Why world? What have I done to deserve this?”
2. Gross Sounds
Why is it that the smacking of bodies against each other far too often sound like farts? Is it Mother Nature’s Way of zapping the sexiness out of the moment? Whether it’s fart-like sounds, bizarre rumbles from flesh being pushed and pressed, or that wet slapping sound from intercourse, none of it rarely sounds good.
3. Even Grosser Smells
Honestly, the sex smell can be really hot. In fact, thanks to the aforementioned oxytocin release, what we’d normally find repulsive in smell is pretty easy on the nose during sex. But that doesn't mean that burps, fart-slips, or someone's post-gym genitals are going to always smell like roses.
Because the name alone isn’t gross enough, “queefing” is basically a vagina fart. It’s something that happens when too much air gets into the vagina during intercourse. It’s also totally normal, natural, and happens to every body. Everybody poops, too, but that still doesn’t mean it’s not gross.
5. Funky Spunk
Whether it’s semen or vaginal secretions (because who doesn’t love asparagus for lunch?), funky tasting bodily fluid is a real thing. It’s also never fun. But since our bodies are affected by what we eat and sometimes it can result in stinkiness, you can end up tasting something less than appetizing.
6. That Random Pubic Hair
Unless both you and your partner wax like there’s no tomorrow, pubic hair can lead to awkward situations. Your partner could be going down on you, it’s super great, you’re about to climax, and suddenly they start coughing and sputtering because of a rogue pubic hair has decided to choke them or get lodged in between their teeth. While pubic hair isn’t gross and, FYI, serves a purpose, a pubic hair that has gone off on its own to cause trouble can definitely make for a strange experience.
7. Skid Marks
Even if you don't indulge in anal play, that doesn't mean that poop isn't going to become part of the equation. Skid marks are real. These less-than-pleasant marks can show up in one's underwear or on bed sheets after there's been a lot of rolling around. While there's no guarantee that they will smell enough to send both you and your partner running for the hill, just their presence alone can leave some retching.
8. Unintentional Gagging
Gagging, if not controlled, can lead to vomiting. Puke, obviously, (unless you have a fetish for it) is really effing gross.
9. Someone Has Bad Breath
If you’ve been munching down on raw garlic and coffee all day, as people do, it’s going to take a lot more than brushing your teeth to get rid of that stench. But, it happens. So you either grin and bear it all the way to Orgasm Town, or tell your partner, gently, what’s up, and point them in the direction of the mouthwash.
Images: Andrew Zaeh for Bustle; Giphy (9)